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Some people think that government should invest more in public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music and paintings. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that government should invest more in public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music and paintings. 0Anol
According to some people, hefty amount of money should be earmarked on public facilities by state rather than spending bucks on arts sector because they opine that it is a wastage of large chunk of national budget. I partially agree with given notion because I have some rational and logical viewpoints on it which i will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are myriad of benefits if policy makers allocates money for public amenities. Firstly, in this way there are some priority sectors in which sufficient funds are required such as hospitals, schools and so on. For instance, if the medical facilities are not better in nation, it will be perilous situation for country's comprehensive growth. Thus, by spending massive funds on healthcare sectors brings multifarious benefits for citizens. Secondly, in similar way other sector is education because without education the progress of any country may not be ensured because it is rightly said that " education is the greatest weapon to fight with any evil". Therefore, when government shell out big chunks of money on schools then it will come in immensely handy for learners. That being said that, arts field also plays an instrumental role in life. First and foremost reason is that why authorities should invest money on art sector because in this way come to know about culture. To epitome, music is part and parcel of life. But for music, life will be monotonous because it adds the spice to life and some people have keen interest in these field so they want to pursue their career in it. So, if higher authorities does not allocate the small proportion of national exchequer, it may lead to a host of problems. Another worth mentioning is that,
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, hefty amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should
be earmarked
on public facilities by state
rather
than spending bucks on arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they opine that it is a wastage of large chunk of national budget. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rational and logical viewpoints on it which
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss in upcoming paragraphs. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are myriad of benefits if
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy makers
allocates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for public amenities.
Firstly
, in this way there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
priority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in which sufficient funds
are required
such as hospitals, schools and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For instance
, if the medical facilities are not better in nation, it will be perilous situation for country's comprehensive growth.
Thus
, by spending massive funds on healthcare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
brings multifarious benefits for citizens.
Secondly
, in similar way other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without education the progress of any country may not
be ensured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
rightly
said that
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
education is the greatest weapon to fight with any evil
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Therefore
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
shell out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chunks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on schools then it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in
immensely
handy for learners. That
being said
that, arts field
also
plays an instrumental role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
First
and foremost reason is that why authorities should invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about culture. To epitome, music is part and parcel of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for music,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be monotonous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
the spice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have keen interest in these field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they want to pursue their career in it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if higher authorities does not allocate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of national exchequer, it may lead to a host of problems. Another worth mentioning is that,
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IELTS essay Some people think that government should invest more in public services instead of wasting money on arts such as music and paintings.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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