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Some people believe that being unfulfilled with the work or the low income should be an accepting situation.

Some people believe that being unfulfilled with the work or the low income should be an accepting situation. MyrrN
Some people believe that being unfulfilled with the work or the low income should be an accepting situation. Other argue that we have to try upgrading these situations. As far as I am concerned, people must harness every chance to increase their earn or to be satisfied with their jobs. Getting content with the current job situations, even if they are bad, is the best for some population. This is due to that some countries have inadequate good job opportunities, so their residents have not other options for more improved career. As a result, they must have sense of well-being from their current jobs whereas they can get their needs and their family’s needs. For example, my uncle works as a farmer in my grandfather’s farm and he does not have another job because he is not well learned. In fact, some countries try to make their population satisfy with the current careers to prevent any upheaval. On the other hand, some people struggle to improve their work by searching for other job opportunities or even shift their career. The likelihood of doing this because they want a good salary or a good job in the community. For instance, I would like to be a scientist but if this does not get high income for me, I will shift my career to be a dentist. Wanting to be an effective person in the community by developing the work is a significant concern but need some conscious from being fallen in troubles. To sum up everything I have already mentioned, getting happy from the job is a crucial issue, however, some people prefer to continue in their actual profession. In fact, I firmly agreed that all of us should do what they can to get fulfill career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
being unfulfilled
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or the low income should be an accepting situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
argue that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
try upgrading these situations. As far as I
am concerned
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
harness every chance to increase their earn or to
be satisfied
with their jobs.

Getting content with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
situations, even if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, is the best for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
population. This is due to that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have inadequate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their residents have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
options for more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have sense of well-being from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
whereas they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their needs and their family’s needs.
For example
, my uncle works as a farmer in my grandfather’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
farm and
he does not have another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is not well learned. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their population satisfy with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any upheaval.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by searching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities or even shift their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. The likelihood of doing this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the community.
For instance
, I would like to be a scientist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if this does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high income for me, I will shift my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
to be a dentist. Wanting to be an effective person in the community by developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a significant concern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conscious from
being fallen
in troubles.

To sum up everything I have already mentioned, getting happy from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a crucial issue,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to continue in their actual profession. In fact, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that all of us should do what they can to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fulfill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that being unfulfilled with the work or the low income should be an accepting situation.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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