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"Computerized Voting Systems "

"Computerized Voting Systems " Vy2yO
The lecture explained why the computerized voting system can not replace the traditional voting system. There are the following three reasons. First of all, not everyoen one can use computers correctly. Some people do not have access to computers, some people are not used of computers, and some people are even scared of this new technology. If the voters do not know how to use a computer, how do you expect them to finish the voting process through computers? This directly refutes the reading passage which states that computerized voting is easier by just touchingthe screen. Secondly, computers may make mistakes as the people do. As computers are programmed by the human beings, thus erros are inevitable in the computer system. Problems caused by computer voting systems may be more serious than those caused by people. A larger number of votes might be miss counted or even removed from the system. Furthermore, it would take more energy to recount the votes. Again this contradicts what is stated in the reading which stated that only people will make mistakes in counting. Thirdly, computerized voting system is not reliable because it has not reached a stable status. People trust computers to conduct banking transactions because the computerized banking system is being used daily and frecuently and has been stable. How ever, the voting does not happen as often as banking thus the computerized voting system has not been proved to be totally reliable. All in all, not everyone can use a computer properly, computer cause mistakes and computerized voting system is not reliable are the main reasons why computerized voting system can not replace the traditional voting system.
The lecture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
computerized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
can not replace the traditional voting

system. There are the following three reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, not
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyoen
one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers
correctly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have access to

computers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of computers, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are even scared of this new

technology. If the voters do not know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a computer, how do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
them to finish

the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
process through computers? This
directly
refutes the reading passage which states that

computerized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
is easier by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake found.
touchingthe
screen.

Secondly
, computers may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do. As computers
are programmed
by the

human beings,
thus
Possible spelling mistake found.
erros
are inevitable in the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. Problems caused by computer

voting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
may be more serious than those caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. A larger number of votes

might be miss counted or even removed from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
Furthermore
, it would take more

energy to recount the votes. Again this contradicts what
is stated
in the reading which stated that

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes in counting.

Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
computerized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is not reliable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has not reached a stable status.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
trust computers to conduct banking transactions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
computerized
banking

system is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
daily and
Possible spelling mistake found.
frecuently
and has been stable.
Did you mean "however"?
How ever
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
does not

happen as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as banking
thus
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
computerized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
has not
been proved
to be

totally
reliable.

All in all, not everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a computer
properly
, computer cause mistakes and computerized

voting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
is not reliable are the main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
computerized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
can not

replace the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
.
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IELTS essay "Computerized Voting Systems "

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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