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how does technology change our lives?

how does technology change our lives? eELEx
others say it has created a virtual world and driven communities to become more apart. Internet, in my opinion, enables people to communicate with each other more effortlessly and with various technological advantages. To start with, a worldwide internet area network gives us the ability to connect with members of the family in instantaneously, which was extremely difficult a few centuries back. Today, family members and friends may well be contacted by video call or text messaging through various online platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, and Whatsapp. As a result, communicating has become more and more exciting and simple. Additionally, the internet allows people to learn new stuff from someone from all around the world, and so they can communicate with people from different nations and countries. As a consequence, the communication distance is decreased. On the other side, because of the wide role of electronic networking, the internet has separated the community. As a result, people are creating their own wonderland and have no attention for the actual life, which leads to melancholy and isolation. Further, technology has a huge effect on families since, that in no means, the general population is ready to spend multiple hours on their smartphones without important reasons and has little quality time with their loved ones. As a consequence, successful relationships corrupt. In conclusion, both perspectives are acceptable and accurate to the best of ability, but I think internet provides more benefits to humanity by enabling societies to keep relationships no matter how far apart they are
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
others
say it has created a virtual world and driven communities to become more apart. Internet, in my opinion, enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate with each other more
effortlessly
and with various technological advantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, a worldwide internet area network gives us the ability to connect with members of the family in
instantaneously
, which was
extremely
difficult a few centuries back.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, family members and friends may well
be contacted
by video call or text messaging through various online platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
.
As a result
, communicating has become more and more exciting and simple.
Additionally
, the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn new stuff from someone from all around the world, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations and countries. As a consequence, the communication distance
is decreased
.

On the other side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the wide role of electronic networking, the internet has separated the community.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are creating their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wonderland and have no attention for the actual life, which leads to melancholy and isolation.
Further
, technology has a huge effect on families since, that in no means, the general population is ready to spend multiple hours on their smartphones without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
quality time with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. As a consequence, successful relationships corrupt.

In conclusion
, both perspectives are acceptable and accurate to the best of ability,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
internet provides more benefits to humanity by enabling societies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
relationships no matter how far apart they are
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IELTS essay how does technology change our lives?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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