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Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choice on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matter that affect them. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choice on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matter that affect them. rpb2
In this ultra-modern society, Younger are free to choose their daily view on what to eat, what to wear and what to watch, Several group of people opine on this view that this trend lead younger toward selfishness, while other section of people believe that children should take their own decision which will directly related to their study or carrier. While I personally believe that later view has more benefit. When we looking former view, Youth should be free take their day to day life decision and independent to choose their daily meal, dress and source of enjoyment. This kind of freedom give him right to choose the best what they want, Parents has not throw their own decision on them for this some basic decision and support to take their own other important decision. However this kind of scenario not help to child but they become selfish and thought only for own, they even not thought for their source of input. For instance, rich kids do not thought about spending for their daily choice without thinking that how much effort required to achieve that. On other hand when we examine later view, Younger generation should promote to take their life long decision on their own related to academic or professional career, this will help to be self-reliable on thir matter. Moreover, It will help them to improve their confidence and imagination power to tecal any kind of situation in future without any kind of dependency on other. Furthermore, it boost their reliance on their own and faith on their thought process. In conclusion, I believe that younger society should free to take their important lifelong decision on their head with judiciously, it would make them more responsible. Rather than take selfish basic daily routine decision, which will not help longer.
In this ultra-modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Younger
are free to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
on what to eat, what to wear and what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, Several group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that this trend lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
toward selfishness, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that children should take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
which will
directly
related to their study or carrier.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
I
personally
believe that later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
has more benefit.

When
Did you mean "we're looking", "we are looking", or "we were looking"?
we looking
former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, Youth should be free take their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and independent to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
meal, dress and source of enjoyment. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of freedom give him right to choose the best what they want, Parents has not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "thrown".
throw
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
on them for this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
and support to take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of scenario not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they become selfish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, they even not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
for their source of input.
For instance
, rich kids do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
about spending for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
choice without thinking that how much effort required to achieve that.

On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand when we examine later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Younger
generation should promote to take their life long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
related to academic or professional career, this will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to be self-reliable on
Possible spelling mistake found.
thir
matter.
Moreover
, It will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their confidence and imagination power to
Possible spelling mistake found.
tecal
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of situation in future without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of dependency on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Furthermore
, it
Did you mean "boosts"?
boost
their reliance on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and faith on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
process.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
society should free to take their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
lifelong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
on their head with
judiciously
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more responsible.
Rather
than take selfish basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
, which will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
longer.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choice on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matter that affect them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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