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In this modern era, there has been seen a lot of change in the building of families and their roles as compared to the previous century.

In this modern era, there has been seen a lot of change in the building of families and their roles as compared to the previous century. AyaN
In this modern era, there has been seen a lot of change in the building of families and their roles as compared to the previous century. This essay will draw attention to the changes occurring in families and how they are impacting. To begin with, nowadays people prefer to live in a nuclear family rather than in a joint family. Individuals want more privacy or they do not want anyone to intervene in their lives, resulting in the splitting of the relations. Families are becoming smaller having three or four members overall. Today's generation is more serious about their private world, and they apprehend that living with a number of people can cost their privacy. For instance, In Singapore country, a person after the marriage has to buy their own apartment to start their family instead of living in their parent's house. However, In my opinion, joint families play a major role in structuring the life of an individual. In this kind of family, one can learn numerous things from our elders, because they have had more experience the nature of life as they passed through the stages from which new generation will go in future. Elders or others in a joint family can give immediate support in medical or financial crises. In terms of love, their support would be unconditional and helps the younger generation to know the importance of ancestors. In India, most families prefer to live in a group of people, for example, two brothers like to spend their lives under one roof in spite of separation and want their children to do so. In conclusion, besides people are influenced by nuclear families in order to get privacy, but living in a joint culture can bring more positive and peace among the people.
In this modern era, there has been
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seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the building of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and their roles as compared to the previous century. This essay will draw attention to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
occurring in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and how they are impacting.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
rather
than in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Individuals want more
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
privacy or
they do not want anyone to intervene in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, resulting in the splitting of the relations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
are becoming smaller having three or four members
overall
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's generation is more serious about their private world, and they apprehend that living with a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can cost their privacy.
For instance
, In Singapore country, a person after the marriage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
apartment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
instead
of living in their parent's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.

However
, In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
play a major role in structuring the life of an individual. In this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, one can learn numerous things from our elders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have had more experience the nature of life as they passed through the stages from which new generation will go
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Elders or others in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can give immediate support in medical or financial crises. In terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, their support would be unconditional and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the younger generation to know the importance of ancestors. In India, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for example
, two brothers like to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
under one roof
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
separation and want their children to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion,
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are influenced
by nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
privacy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joint
culture can bring more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and peace among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay In this modern era, there has been seen a lot of change in the building of families and their roles as compared to the previous century.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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