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Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. m196L
Firstly, culture means sharing the same language, belief, customs, traditions and behaviour. Some people consider culture as something selected by their origin country. While, the other didn't believe that. So in my essay, I will talk about both sides and I will end with my own opinion. people in favour, they think that a person's culture comes from their country of origin because they will certainly be affected by the environment in which they live. On the other hand, the opponents believe that there is no connection between the original homeland and the culture, because if a person moves to a place other than his country of origin, he will keep pace with the new culture and learn the concepts of the original culture. Therefore, the influence of the original country of the culture is considered minimal. In my opinion that culture is determined by the original home of a person because from the beginning of his life when he is at a young age, he will acquire his culture from his parents and he will learn traditions and morals from them. Therefore, he will try to cope with what his society is doing, but many temptations make individuals tend to acquire other cultures through the situations that happen to themSome people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
means sharing the same language, belief, customs, traditions and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
as something selected by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
didn't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my essay, I will talk about both sides and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
certainly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the environment in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the opponents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
original
homeland and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
to a place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
, he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and learn the concepts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Therefore
, the influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is considered
minimal.

In my opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is determined
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
original
home of a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
from the beginning of his life when he is at a young age, he will acquire his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
from his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
parents and
he will learn traditions and morals from them.
Therefore
, he will try to cope with what his society is doing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
temptations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals tend to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
through the situations that happen to
Possible spelling mistake found.
themSome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a person's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is defined
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
origin
, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a minor influence.

Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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