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Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. 78L2
Some people consider that individual’s culture is define by their nation. While I think where they had lived is important, I also believe the nation of their parent influence their culture a lot in case of children. I insist each person’s nation does not influence their feature; it’s just one kind of many factors. Firstly, I believe where they had grown has a great effect on individual’s culture. For example, if he or she is given birth in the United States but grown in South Korea, he or she will be much more familiar with Korea’s culture and speak in Korean and has the particular conception of Korea. I believe the place you lived influence you a lot more than the country you are born. I consider their parent’s nation of birth would give a huge effect to them if they are children. For example, although you went abroad and go to school of different country, you would speak the language of your nation of birth because at home, your parent will speak their country’s language and naturally to communicate with your parent much better, you will have to talk in your nation’s language. In conclusion, there are some arguments with the topic: If individual’s nation can effect individual’s culture and feature. However, I believe the nation people had lived and the country of their parent in case of teenagers have a big effect on individual’s culture. In my opinion I think a person’s nation of birth has a not big effect on each person’s culture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
Consider using a past participle here: "defined".
define
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
where they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, I
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
influence their
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culture
a lot in case of children. I insist each person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
does not influence their feature; it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors.

Firstly
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
where they had grown has a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
For example
, if he or she is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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birth
in the United States
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
grown in South Korea, he or she will be much more familiar with Korea’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and speak in Korean and has the particular conception of Korea. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the place you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
influence you a lot more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
you
are born
.

I consider their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
would give a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
to them if they are children.
For example
, although you went abroad and go to school of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, you would speak the language of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at home, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
will speak their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
language and
naturally
to communicate with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
much better, you will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
talk in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
language.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments with the topic: If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and feature.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
in case of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. In my opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
has a not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on each person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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