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Roy Topic : In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Roy Topic: In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? REwk
Recently, as the technology developed, our environment and workplace had changed rapidly. As a result of the development of the Internet, smart phones and other electronic devices, there are people who travel to the workplace, and the ones working from home. Working from home has not only advantages but also advantages. That workers can feel much more comfortable is one of the advantages. They can take a break at anytime they want. They can raise the working efficiency by having much better environment. And working from home can be useful for the people who needs to care about their children and people whose workplace is far from their house. Also, it’s effective to work when the viruses such as Covid-19 because you are not contacted with other people. It can effect the environment because the traffic will decrease, as the ones who work from home increase, which means waste gas, the main factor harming the environment, will decrease. However, it has some disadvantages. Firstly, workers can be lazy because there are no one who is watching them. They would not work on time and postpone the works they need to do. Secondly, it would cause the lack of the social activities. They would not be able to contact with the colleagues and the opportunity to develop their own sociality would decrease. In conclusion, there are some advantages and disadvantages of working from home. We need to know the benefits and disadvantages of it well and decide whether you will work from home or not.
Recently, as the technology developed, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and workplace had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
rapidly
.
As a result
of the development of the Internet, smart phones and other electronic devices, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travel to the workplace, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home.

Working from home has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
. That workers can feel much more comfortable is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
. They can take a break at anytime they want. They can raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
efficiency by having much better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home can be useful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "need"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
needs
to care about their children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose workplace is far from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Also
, it’s effective to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when the viruses such as Covid-19
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you are not contacted with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It can effect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the traffic will decrease, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home increase, which means waste gas, the main factor harming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, will decrease.

However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
Firstly
, workers can be lazy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are no one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is watching them. They would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on time and postpone the works they need to do.
Secondly
, it would cause the lack of the social activities. They would not be able to contact with the colleagues and the opportunity to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociality
would decrease.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home. We need to know the benefits and disadvantages of it well and decide whether you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home or not.
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IELTS essay Roy Topic: In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smart phones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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