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Some people believe that a country benefits greatly with a high percentage of young people who go to university, while others argue that it only leads to graduate unemployment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Some people believe that a country benefits greatly with a high percentage of young people who go to university, while others argue that it only leads to graduate unemployment. 11w3N
It is commonly believed that the more citizens in a country continue their study to university, the more the country accept many positive impacts. However, several people make a statement that proceeding to study to the higher-education is the worst alternative because they will be joblessness. In this essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and try to reach a conclusion. First and foremost, there are so plenty of advantages for a country from its many high-educational-background citizens. One of the advantages is can make an innovation especially in technology in which in this contemporary era it is one of the crucial aspect to support some needs of people. For instance, to solve the problem in efficiency of trading which is one of the primary need activities of people, there are three Indonesian-graduated people from colleges who create e-commerce-applications such as Shopee, Bukalapak and Tokopedia. Nevertheless, it is often said that proceeding to learn to the high-level in a university is just like wasting money and will be joblessness For instance, the tuition fee in the universities and living-cost are expensive, then it will decrease their financials. Likewise, there is also no guarantee that after graduation, people will get well-paid jobs or hire in the company which they want. Personally, I think that proceeding to go to the high-level of education, especially studying in a university can give positive effects to a country, and that is the best alternative. Therefore, the government should provide a lot of scholarship to give a chance to the young citizens to enroll their dreaming colleges, then can contribute in improving of the country after experting in their majors.
It is
commonly
believed that the more citizens in a
country
continue their study to
university
, the more the
country
accept
many
positive
impacts.
However
, several
people
make
a statement that proceeding to study to the higher-education is the worst alternative
because
they will be joblessness. In this essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and try to reach a conclusion.

First
and foremost, there are
so
plenty
of advantages for a
country
from its
many
high-educational-background citizens. One of the advantages is can
make
an innovation
especially
in technology in which in this contemporary era it is one of the crucial aspect to support
some
needs of
people
.
For instance
, to solve the problem in efficiency of trading which is one of the primary need activities of
people
, there are three Indonesian-graduated
people
from colleges who create e-commerce-applications such as
Shopee
,
Bukalapak
and
Tokopedia
.

Nevertheless
, it is
often
said that proceeding to learn to the high-level in a
university
is
just
like wasting money and will be joblessness
For instance
, the tuition fee in the
universities
and living-cost are expensive, then it will decrease their financials.
Likewise
, there is
also
no guarantee that after graduation,
people
will
get
well-paid jobs or hire in the
company
which they want.

Personally
, I
think
that proceeding to go to the high-level of education,
especially
studying in a
university
can give
positive
effects to a
country
, and
that is
the best alternative.
Therefore
, the
government
should provide
a lot of
scholarship to give a chance to the young citizens to enroll their dreaming colleges, then can contribute in improving of the
country
after
experting
in their majors.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that a country benefits greatly with a high percentage of young people who go to university, while others argue that it only leads to graduate unemployment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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