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some people believe tha children should start school at early age

some people believe tha children should start school at early age LlOM8
A school is an educational institute where children go to learn from a teacher. The society is polarized into two groups almost equally regarding the notion that whether some people believe that children go to school in early age is beneficial or others argued that after the age of seven is better time for schooling. Different people have their distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches before making a final note. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its favor. First and foremost, children go to school in early age is good for them. As a result, they enhance more knowledge at early age. Secondly, students may able to mingle with co-students and which would be good for their learning skills. Thirdly, children can finish their bachelors and post graduate degree while still being a teenager. Shifting towards the second school of thoughts, children should start school in early age is also demerits because they can take more stress in early age which is not good for them. Moreover, when children are pre-scholars their cognitive development significantly affected through activities rather than studies. Furthermore, when children read their books they are more difficult to read it. They cannot really understand subject matters without tourchering their brain All in all, both school of thoughts prevalent in society. In my point of view, school life should start as early age as possible because children better prepared for future competition in many areas.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is an educational institute where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to learn from a teacher. The society
is polarized
into two groups almost
equally
regarding the notion that whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is beneficial or others argued that after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of seven is better time for schooling.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their distinct mindset. The following paragraphs would shed light on both the approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a final note.

To commence with the
first
notion, there are myriad things to
be shared
in its favor.
First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.
As a result
, they enhance more knowledge at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Secondly
, students
Did you mean "may be able"?
may able
to mingle with co-students and which would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can finish their bachelors and post graduate degree while
still
being a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
.

Shifting towards the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of thoughts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
also
demerits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can take more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-scholars
their cognitive development
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
through activities
rather
than studies.
Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
read their books they are more difficult to read it. They cannot
really
understand subject matters without
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourchering
their brain

All in all, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of thoughts prevalent in society. In my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
as possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better prepared for future competition in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas.
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IELTS essay some people believe tha children should start school at early age

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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