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Describe a movie you watched with your friends or your family.

Describe a movie you watched with your friends or your family. LlOVV
i was wavering between two famous movies I just watched not too long ago. they are all good and have special content. However, I’ve decided to talk about “true beauty” because the movie is still vivid in my mind. In this film, Moon Ga-young is an honest, gentle high school student, but her appearance is not very good, so she is often bullied by her friends. Due to difficulties at work, her father was unemployed and her family had to move. Thanks to that, she is also transferred from the nightmare school. Fortunately, she learned how to apply makeup and become beautiful. Therefore, she is considered the beauty of the school, has many new friends and has a good boyfriend who loves her without paying attention to her real appearance after applying makeup. But because the boyfriend is so handsome and talented, many people hate and harm him. A friend who adores her boyfriend got together with the bullies at her alma mater and posted videos of bullying her when she was ugly on social media. Because she was afraid of alienation from her friends, she had to leave school. Fortunately, people not only didn't alienate her, but also protected her from the bad guys. The school has also strictly handled and condemned those who have committed school violence. in the end, Moon ga-young was confident with her bare face and became a professional stylist. this movie was come out in 2020 but only recently my friends and I saw it. My friend said this movie is very good so recommended it to me, it's really very human. Its plot is light but very engaging and aren't hard to follow it. the main characters are all young actors but they are very talented and express the drama well. I am really impressed by this movie, and there are many reasons why I should recommend it to everyone. First, the film conveys a meaningful message, which is the power of love and friendship. Thanks to this power, Moon ga-young has come out from a dark memory, has true friends and a wonderful boyfriend. The name of the film is also very meaningful: true beauty is the beauty of the soul. The film also mentions the evil that still exists in schools - school violence. it reminds us to pay more attention to our students. It also raises the right point: bad guys will be punished and live your life with a sincere heart and you will be rewarded. I hope that my friends will enjoy this movie just like I did.
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was wavering between two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
not too long ago.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and have special content.
However
, I’ve decided to talk about “true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is
still
vivid in my mind.

In this film, Moon Ga-young is an honest, gentle high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
student,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
her appearance is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
bullied by her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Due to difficulties at work, her father
was unemployed
and her family had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
. Thanks to that, she is
also
transferred from the nightmare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Fortunately
, she learned how to apply makeup and become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
.
Therefore
, she
is considered
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boyfriend
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
her without paying attention to her real appearance after applying makeup.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boyfriend
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
handsome and talented,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hate and harm him. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
who adores her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boyfriend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
together with the bullies at her alma mater and posted videos of bullying her when she was ugly on social media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
she was afraid of alienation from her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, she had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Fortunately
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
didn't alienate her,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
protected her from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
guys. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has
also
strictly
handled and condemned those who have committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
violence.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, Moon
Possible spelling mistake found.
ga-young
was confident with her bare face and became a professional stylist.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out in 2020
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
recently my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
it. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
said this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
recommended it to me, it's
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
human. Its plot is light
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
engaging and aren't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to follow it. the main characters are all young actors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
talented and express the drama well. I am
really
impressed by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why I should recommend it to everyone.

First
, the film conveys a meaningful message, which is the power of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and friendship. Thanks to this power, Moon
Possible spelling mistake found.
ga-young
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out from a dark memory, has true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and a wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boyfriend
. The name of the film is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
meaningful: true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
of the soul. The film
also
mentions the evil that
still
exists in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
violence.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
reminds us to pay more attention to our students. It
also
raises the right point:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
guys will
be punished
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
your life with a sincere heart and you will
be rewarded
.

I hope that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
will enjoy this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like I did.
What do you think?
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IELTS essay Describe a movie you watched with your friends or your family.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
430 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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