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Some people believe teenagers should follow the examples of older people, others believe it is natural for teenagers to challenge what older people say. Discuss both views and give ypur opinion. v.1

Some people believe teenagers should follow the examples of older people, others believe it is natural for teenagers to challenge what older people say. v. 1
It is often thought by some that youngsters should emulate the actions of the elders in the society. Some people, however, disagree and argue that the youth can question the sayings of adults. In my opinion, I hold that the children ought to copy the ways of the elders as they are wiser and more experienced in life. One reason why some individuals argue that the young ones can challenge the sayings of grownups is because, it is perceived that elders have archaic ideas which are majorly not in line with todays dynamic world. Besides, the older generation is known to be too comfortable with the old ways of doing things which make them not evolve with the ongoing technological innovations and so youngsters find their contributions and actions old-fashioned thus a reason to always question them. As an illustration, I used to be at loggerhead with my grandmother when she was still alive because, she always wanted me to do her washings by hand meanwhile, I preferred to use the washing machine. On the contrary, I believe children ought to copy the actions of adults since they are more knowledgeable and full of wisdom. This particularly, is true as grown ups have the natural responsibility to tutor the younger ones morally, academically and socially. More so, older people are the only ones in the society who are experienced enough to teach and nurture growing children to the right path so they can be useful for themselves and the community. Hence, the more reason teenagers have to follow the positive ways of their elders. For instance, I was raised by parents who i consistently imitated as they brought me up to become a responsible adult. In conclusion, in spite of the argument of a few individuals that children can be confrontational with older people as their ways are old fashioned, I strongly hold that kids ought to look up to the elders so as to gain practical knowledge and learn about the positive ways in life.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that youngsters should emulate the actions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
in the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, disagree and argue that the youth can question the sayings of adults. In my opinion, I hold that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to copy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
as they are wiser and more experienced in life.

One reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that the young ones can challenge the sayings of grownups is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it
is perceived
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
have archaic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which are
majorly
not in line with
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
dynamic world.
Besides
, the older generation
is known
to be too comfortable with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of doing things which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them not evolve with the ongoing technological innovations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
youngsters find their contributions and actions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned
thus
a reason to always question them. As an illustration, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be at loggerhead with my grandmother when she was
still
alive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, she always wanted me to do her washings by hand meanwhile, I preferred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the washing machine.

On the contrary
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to copy the actions of adults since they are more knowledgeable and full of wisdom. This
particularly
, is true as
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
grown ups
have the natural responsibility to tutor the younger ones
morally
,
academically
and
socially
. More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones in the society who
are experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to teach and nurture growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the right path
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can be useful for themselves and the community.
Hence
, the more reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
.
For instance
, I
was raised
by parents who
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
consistently
imitated as they brought me up to become a responsible adult.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the argument of a few individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be confrontational with older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
, I
strongly
hold that kids ought to look up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
gain practical knowledge and learn about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
in life.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Some people believe teenagers should follow the examples of older people, others believe it is natural for teenagers to challenge what older people say. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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