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some people believe parents sshould devote mote time to helping their children with schoolwork. Others think they should allocate more time to playing sports with their children. Discuss both view and give your opinion

some people believe parents sshould devote mote time to helping their children with schoolwork. Others think they should allocate more time to playing sports with their children. Discuss both view and give your opinion RWWgp
Some people argue that parents should spend more time supporting their juveniles with assignments, others believe that they ought to manipulate their kids to participate in some extracurricular activities, such as sports. From my perspective, parents need to balance their children’s schoolwork and open-air entertainment as each point has its own benefit. Helping children in studying makes a huge contribution to building a solid foundation for their future career. When they are well-studying, they seem to accumulate more knowledge regarding theory, which means they find implementing those mastery in life easier than others. For example, when a person applies for a job, a superb school profile in curriculum vitae not only makes them employed by big corporations but also helps them to sort out sudden hassles in the working environment. Thus, parents should devote time to support their children in their schoolwork. Beside learning from school, children should be engaged in some outdoor activities, particularly sports as it plays a crucial role in developing their physical and mental health. Taking up a sport lets the children enhance their health status, as well as helps them release their stress and feel free to expose their creativity. For example, a kid that goes in for a certain sport is colloquially more enthusiastic and energetic than the others. Consequently, encouraging their children to take part in some sport is the responsibility of parents. In short, academic results and spending time playing sports are both essential for a child’s basis.
Some
people
argue that parents should spend more time supporting their juveniles with assignments, others believe that they ought to manipulate their kids to participate in
some
extracurricular activities, such as
sports
. From my perspective, parents need to balance their
children’s
schoolwork and open-air entertainment as each point has its
own
benefit.

Helping
children
in studying
makes
a huge contribution to building a solid foundation for their future career. When they are well-studying, they seem to accumulate more knowledge regarding theory, which means they find implementing
those mastery
in life easier than others.
For example
, when a person applies for a job, a superb school profile in curriculum vitae not
only
makes
them employed by
big
corporations
but
also
helps
them to sort out sudden hassles in the working environment.
Thus
, parents should devote time to support their
children
in their schoolwork.

Beside learning from school,
children
should
be engaged
in
some
outdoor activities,
particularly
sports
as it plays a crucial role in developing their physical and mental health. Taking up a
sport
lets
the
children
enhance their health status,
as well
as
helps
them release their
stress
and feel free to expose their creativity.
For example
, a kid that goes in for a certain
sport
is
colloquially
more enthusiastic and energetic than the others.
Consequently
, encouraging their
children
to
take part
in
some
sport
is the responsibility of parents.

In short, academic results and spending time playing
sports
are both essential for a child’s basis.
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IELTS essay some people believe parents sshould devote mote time to helping their children with schoolwork. Others think they should allocate more time to playing sports with their children. Discuss both view and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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