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Some people believe music plays an important role in society, while others think it is only a form of entertainment for individuals

Some people believe music plays an important role in society, while others think it is only a form of entertainment for individuals br1y3
It goes without saying that music is one of the most important attributes in our lives as a combination of art and culture. Music plays so many roles from lifting up your mood to defining a particular culture. It is a way of expression as some people choose to listen to music, some like to sing or play different sorts of instruments. Throughout history, we have seen many different forms of music and musical instruments from various cultures. For instance, India is a great example to illustrate the culture of music. Carnatic music, one of the oldest and respected forms of music, comprises beautiful melodies based on stories of Holy deities and songs on devotion to God. There’s no exaggeration when we talk about the rich tribal music and the traditional classical music of each region of India. Just as how a coin has two sides, India is also famously known for Bollywood music. It has become of the main entertainment sources of the world. The production with upbeat rhythms and encourages the usage of traditional instruments which makes it so much more fun, happy and enjoyable. It is the celebration of music that brings people together. Music is an international language to connect people from different parts of the world. Music is used to express what we feel most deeply, it can spread the message of love, kindness, and peace. Since music is so diverse, it can be used to satisfy the needs of so many people. Although music is universal, it can be very personal as well. Some individuals may enjoy the classics by Mozart or Beethoven, whereas others might prefer some urban pop music by Taylor Swift. Furthermore, we must acknowledge the contribution of music in several research works. Studies show that, playing music every day at a specific time has helped optimize plant growth. In conclusion, I really believe that music plays an integral role in shaping our societies, not just as a source of entertainment. It’s not only a form of expression but it also helps to preserve and celebrating different cultures and bringing the world together.
It goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
attributes in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as a combination of art and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
roles from
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "lifting".
lifting up
your mood to defining a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. It is a way of expression as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
like to sing or play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sorts of instruments.

Throughout history, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and musical instruments from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
For instance
, India is a great example to illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Carnatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, one of the oldest and respected forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, comprises
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
melodies based on stories of Holy deities and songs on devotion to God. There’s no exaggeration when we talk about the rich tribal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and the traditional classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of each region of India.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
as how a coin has two sides, India is
also
famously
known for Bollywood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. It has become of the main entertainment sources of the world. The production with upbeat rhythms and encourages the usage of traditional instruments which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much more fun, happy and enjoyable.

It is the celebration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is an international language to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts of the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to express what we feel most
deeply
, it can spread the message of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, kindness, and peace. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
diverse, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to satisfy the needs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is universal, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
personal
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals may enjoy the classics by Mozart or Beethoven, whereas others might prefer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
urban pop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
by Taylor Swift.
Furthermore
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acknowledge the contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in several research works. Studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
every day at a specific time has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
optimize plant growth.

In conclusion
, I
really
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays an integral role in shaping our societies, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as a source of entertainment. It’s not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a form of expression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to preserve and celebrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and bringing the world together.
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IELTS essay Some people believe music plays an important role in society, while others think it is only a form of entertainment for individuals

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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