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Most people consider that increasing business and cultural contacts is positive development others say that it is loss to nation s identity Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Most people consider that increasing business and cultural contacts is positive development others say that it is loss to nation s identity 2
Advancement in technology is turning this world into global village where boundaries between nations are no longer of that importance. Presently, increasingly cultural and business bondings among countries are supposed to be a worthwhile outcome for social, cultural and commercial benefits. By contrast, it is believed to be perilous for individuality of cultures. Here, this essay will account for both positive and negative effects of this phenomenon with my perception. There are manifold merits of this trend. First and foremost, increasingly global friendships via cultural exchanges allows people to seek optimum opportunities of business, education and employment worldwide. For instance, people find it easier to survive in distinct parts of world in other communities with harmony and better adjustment. As a result, it is a huge privilege for people to get international exposures to flourish in their careers. Besides this, establishment of international corporates in other nations, rising trades, social and financial assistance worldwide enrich nations with prosperity, safety and progress. All of above, growing cultural relationships is also nourishing mankind with peaceful world. By contrast, it has thorny side too. To commence with, sharing cultural values is leading to disintegration of individuality of cultures. To be specific, people under the influence of affluent culture are forgetting the significance of own rituals and customs. Hence, many cultures are at the low ebb which is a worrying concern in some civilizations. Apart from it, opened international window for best career prospectives is alluring most talented people to migrate in other nations to serve their communities. Therefore, their native countries have to suffer problem of brain drain under deprivation of prodigious professionals. From my notion, Although this trend has some negative effects, it invites unity in diversity among nations to stride on the way to progress in almost every field. All countries should continue to share cultural values and business dealings to ensure all around development but they must pay some attention to disappearance of cultural identities of some nations. To recapitulate, exchanging cultural expressions sets platforms to boost progress with symphony worldwide. However, all nations ought to share joint responsibility to vanish its demerits to maximize benefits of global allocation of cultural values.
Advancement in technology is turning this world into global village where boundaries between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are no longer of that importance.
Presently
,
increasingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and business
Possible spelling mistake found.
bondings
among countries
are supposed
to be a worthwhile outcome for social,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and commercial benefits. By contrast, it
is believed
to be perilous for individuality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Here, this essay will account for both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of this phenomenon with my perception.

There are manifold merits of this trend.
First
and foremost,
increasingly
global friendships via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
exchanges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to seek optimum opportunities of business, education and employment worldwide.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it easier to survive in distinct parts of world in other communities with harmony and better adjustment.
As a result
, it is a huge privilege for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
international exposures to flourish in their careers.
Besides
this, establishment of international
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
, rising trades, social and financial assistance worldwide enrich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
with prosperity, safety and progress.
Consider using "All above" or "All of the above".
All of above
, growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
relationships is
also
nourishing mankind with peaceful world. By contrast, it has thorny side too.

To commence with, sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values is leading to disintegration of individuality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. To be specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under the influence of affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
are forgetting the significance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rituals and customs.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are at the low ebb which is a worrying concern in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
civilizations. Apart from it, opened international window for best career
Possible spelling mistake found.
prospectives
is alluring most talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to migrate in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to serve their communities.
Therefore
, their native countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer problem of brain drain under deprivation of prodigious professionals.

From my notion, Although this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects, it invites unity in diversity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to stride on the way to progress in almost every field. All countries should continue to share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values and business dealings to ensure all around development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
attention to disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
identities of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations.

To recapitulate, exchanging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
expressions sets platforms to boost progress with symphony worldwide.
However
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
ought to share joint responsibility to vanish its demerits to maximize benefits of global allocation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Most people consider that increasing business and cultural contacts is positive development others say that it is loss to nation s identity 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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