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Some people believe car should be developed at a smaller size in the future, some think it would be more beneficial for cars to be smaller in the future. Which of the two pathways would you prefer and why? v.1

Some people believe car should be developed at a smaller size in the future, some think it would be more beneficial for cars to be smaller in the future. Which of the two pathways would you prefer and why? v. 1
In a techonologically advanced era, it is considered whether cars should be manipulated at a smaller or a larger size, hence, becoming a controversial topic among many critic groups. As a larger cars could provide a more appropriately conceived improvement and may has the surperior benefit of the doubt, I personally subscribe to a future packed with smaller car brands for several reasons. Firstly, shrink in size among cars helps establish a more maintainable traffic condition. To be specific, while bigger cars could possibly provide larger internal spacing for users, it also acts as pervention of movement for other participating vehicles on the same road or path way, this has traditionally been over-looked as one of the most obnoxous cause to traffic jam and should not be promoted. In essence, acquiring smaller style cars could be closely equivelented to extending the overall traffic space, leading to more throughoutly distributed traffical flow. Furthermore, smaller car size silmutanously increase the flexibility in mobilizing within certain district, similar to lighter vehicles such as motor bike or bycicle, this has further application in morally excessive situation as transportation of patient or even politician throughout the area without public notice. Consequently, such individuals are elidgable of being transmitted safely and soundfully without risks of getting notified. Overall, minimizing car size has the benefit of exposing more mobile space on roads and allow certain individuals to quickly access their facilities in more pressuring needs. Secondly, trivializing car size encourages the depletion of over-exploitation of ore deposits and fossil fuels. Specifically, one of the world’s biggest concern regarding environmental and ecological factor is over- harnessment of irrenewable natural resources such as iron, coal, oil, … or just purely unplanned and illegal exploitation of resources that surpass even that of natural recovery. Diminishing car size could most likely solve this problem with ease, as manufacturing smaller cars in the future requires less investment of fundamental materials, so do the need to overly exploit such rare natural resources. Furthermore, combustion engines, the most commonly used car engines in the world, requires substantial space internally to function in a proper level. In essence, reducing car size may popularize alternative car engines that avoid the further tapping of natural energy sources and thereby, encourages the use of more available resources. The opposing view claim that enlargement of car size is a more beneficial manipulation for the future. Admittedly, progressive maximization of car size satisfy individual’s need of more internal space and may benefit transaction of more heavily stated objects. However, it is undeniable that such benefits are subpar at best and could not have any further implication later on, while having significant drawbacks and ommisions to fulfill. To sum up, while enlarging car size has some benefits up its sleeves, such points are too insignificant in comparison with its negative counter part, hence, propose the argument invalid. In conclusion, those are the reasons why smaller car size is more beneficial for the future.
In a
techonologically
advanced era, it
is considered
whether
cars
should
be manipulated
at a smaller or a larger
size
,
hence
, becoming a controversial topic among
many
critic groups. As a larger
cars
could provide a more
appropriately
conceived improvement and may has the
surperior
benefit
of the doubt, I
personally
subscribe to a
future
packed with smaller
car
brands for several reasons.

Firstly
, shrink in
size
among
cars
helps
establish a more maintainable traffic condition. To be specific, while bigger
cars
could
possibly
provide larger internal spacing for users, it
also
acts as
pervention
of movement for other participating vehicles on the same road or path way, this has
traditionally
been over-looked as one of the most
obnoxous
cause to traffic jam and should not
be promoted
. In essence, acquiring smaller style
cars
could be
closely
equivelented
to extending the
overall
traffic
space
, leading to more
throughoutly
distributed
traffical
flow.
Furthermore
, smaller
car
size
silmutanously
increase the flexibility in mobilizing within certain district, similar to lighter vehicles such as motor bike or
bycicle
, this has
further
application in
morally
excessive situation as transportation of patient or even politician throughout the area without public notice.
Consequently
, such individuals are
elidgable
of
being transmitted
safely
and
soundfully
without
risks
of getting notified.
Overall
, minimizing
car
size
has the
benefit
of exposing more mobile
space
on roads and
allow
certain individuals to
quickly
access their facilities in more pressuring needs.

Secondly
, trivializing
car
size
encourages the depletion of over-exploitation of ore deposits and fossil fuels.
Specifically
, one of the world’s biggest concern regarding environmental and ecological factor is over-
harnessment
of
irrenewable
natural
resources such as iron, coal, oil, … or
just
purely
unplanned and illegal exploitation of resources that surpass even that of
natural
recovery. Diminishing
car
size
could most likely solve this problem with
ease
, as manufacturing smaller
cars
in the
future
requires less investment of fundamental materials,
so
do the need to
overly
exploit such rare
natural
resources.
Furthermore
, combustion engines, the most
commonly
used
car
engines in the world, requires substantial
space
internally
to function in a proper level. In essence, reducing
car
size
may popularize alternative
car
engines that avoid the
further
tapping of
natural
energy sources and thereby, encourages the
use
of more available resources.

The opposing view claim that enlargement of
car
size
is a more beneficial manipulation for the
future
.
Admittedly
, progressive maximization of
car
size
satisfy individual’s need of more internal
space
and may
benefit
transaction of more
heavily
stated objects.
However
, it is undeniable that such
benefits
are subpar at best and could not have any
further
implication later on, while having significant drawbacks and
ommisions
to fulfill. To sum up, while enlarging
car
size
has
some
benefits
up its sleeves, such points are too insignificant
in comparison
with its
negative
counter part
,
hence
, propose the argument invalid.

In conclusion
, those are the reasons why smaller
car
size
is more beneficial for the
future
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe car should be developed at a smaller size in the future, some think it would be more beneficial for cars to be smaller in the future. Which of the two pathways would you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
492 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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