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The chart below shows the proportions of adults in Canada who own one car, two cars, more than two cars, or who do not own a car. v.1

The chart below shows the proportions of adults in Canada who own one car, two cars, more than two cars, or who do not own a car. v. 1
It is believed that only governments are in charge of protecting the environment. From my perspective, I totally disagree with this viewpoint. I think the environmental preservation is the responsibility of both governments and individuals. It is true that politicians play a vital role in protecting the environment. The governments should be responsible for tackling some serious problems such as global warming, deforestation, etc. The reason is that these issues require the efforts and cooperation of politicians and large environmental organisations. Only hey can have sufficient funs and resources to find the most effective solutions. Moreover, the authorities have the power to impose the laws against the actions that damage the environment. For instance, any individuals or organizations that dump waste or harmful water improperly should be sentenced the long-term imprisonment and heavy fines. Needless to say, each person can make a contribution to environmental conservation through small, everyday actions. First, residents should use public transportation instead of their own vehicles. For example, in the Netherlands, citizens have shifted towards using bicycles and subway trains for their daily travel instead of cars, which helps reduce air pollution. I think that individuals have to cooperate with politicians to take action to reduce environmental issues. Take a common example, if farmers continue to burn forests for their own purposes, regardless of the regulations of the government, the problem of climate change and deforestation will never be successfully mitigated. In conclusion, as those mentioned reasons above, I hold the view that protecting the environment is the obligation of both politicians and individuals.
It
is believed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are in charge of protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. From my perspective, I
totally
disagree with this viewpoint. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
preservation is the responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and individuals.

It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
play a vital role in protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should be responsible for tackling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious problems such as global warming, deforestation, etc. The reason is that these issues require the efforts and cooperation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
and large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
hey can have sufficient
Possible spelling mistake found.
funs
and resources to find the most effective solutions.
Moreover
, the authorities have the power to impose the laws against the actions that damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For instance
, any individuals or
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
that dump waste or harmful water
improperly
should
be sentenced
the long-term imprisonment and heavy fines.

Needless to say, each person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a contribution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
conservation through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, everyday actions.
First
, residents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation
instead
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles.
For example
, in the Netherlands, citizens have shifted towards using bicycles and subway trains for their daily travel
instead
of cars, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
air pollution. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cooperate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
to take action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues. Take a common example, if farmers continue to burn forests for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purposes, regardless of the regulations of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, the problem of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and deforestation will never be
successfully
mitigated.

In conclusion
, as those mentioned reasons above, I hold the view that protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is the obligation of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
politicians
and individuals.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay The chart below shows the proportions of adults in Canada who own one car, two cars, more than two cars, or who do not own a car. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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