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some people believe anyone can make art ( paint, music, poetry) while others believe people with specific ability can.

some people believe anyone can make art ( paint, music, poetry) while others believe people with specific ability can. XooPg
Peoples opinions differ as to whether or not a person can create art, music or poetry without a specific talent. While there are some strong arguments against if people work hard, they can make art or poetry, without specific ability. I still believe that it is a necessary aspect of a gift from God. There are several reasons why people might argue that the gift will not be a necessary aspect of your business, if you do not work hard. Firstly, there is evidence to support the idea that specific capability does nothing to improve educational outcomes. Business such as marketing, smm, IT, media and other made of modern job, special capacity is not significant for entrepreneurs, because if people who start business or learn any job have enough knowledge, information and experience, undoubtedly they do not need talent. Secondly, many parents would agree that, talent is not superfluous for children, and young people can become mature professionals in the future if they work hard on their abilities. Finally, it is recognised that, people must have particular capability for some jobs, such as artist, singer, writer and other art jobs. In spite of the above arguments, I support is the most important than particular capacity. The main reason is that, anyone can make something by working hard. In my view, it is important for people to develop own talent. If you do not have any gift, you can learn and work hard on every job. In conclusion, talent is not important to build emotional life. No matter how great a man is, he is not born with great talent on the country, he becomes an formed ability throughout his life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Peoples
opinions differ
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
as to whether or not
a person can create art, music or poetry without a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong arguments against if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
art or poetry, without specific ability. I
still
believe that it is a necessary aspect of a gift from God. There are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might argue that the gift will not be a necessary aspect of your business, if you do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
Firstly
, there is evidence to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that specific capability does nothing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
educational outcomes. Business such as marketing,
Possible spelling mistake found.
smm
, IT, media and other made of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, special capacity is not significant for entrepreneurs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
business or learn any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge, information and experience,
undoubtedly
they do not need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is not superfluous for children, and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become mature professionals in the future if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
on their abilities.
Finally
, it is
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have particular capability for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, such as artist, singer, writer and other art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the above arguments, I support is the most
Use "(important)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
important
than particular capacity. The main reason is that, anyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
something by working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. In my view, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
. If you do not have any gift, you can learn and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
on every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build emotional life. No matter how great a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is, he is not born with great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
on the country, he becomes
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
formed ability throughout his life.

IELTS essay some people believe anyone can make art ( paint, music, poetry) while others believe people with specific ability can.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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