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Some people argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. Compare and contrast the benefits of video games with other hobbies. In your opinion, which is more useful? Why?

Some people argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. Compare and contrast the benefits of video games with other hobbies. In your opinion, which is more useful? Why? 9LLEj
Nowadays video games have become increasingly popular not only among youngsters, but also among adults. It is the belief of some individuals that one should invest his/her time and money in more meaningful pastimes, such as sports. Both these hobbies have their similar and opposing advantages that will be examined in this essay and at the end I will give my own perspective on which of them I think is more useful. Sports and video games may seem quite different, even though they share some benefits. Video games usually involve connecting with other players and thus create a social environment where the players can interact with each other. In addition, many games require players to work as a team. Similarly, the majority of sports, for example football and basketball, are played in a team, resulting in excellent social skills and creating a feeling of community. On the other hand, those two pastimes also appear to be contrasting. Being active enables people to stay fit and contributes to their overall well-being, especially if they sit down daily. For instance, if one visits the gym at least two times a week, this will help them feel healthier on a daily basis. However, rarely do players of video games practice sports as they are constantly immersed in the game. This is due to the fact that those games make them relaxed while enjoying the virtual reality and escaping from their problems. In conclusion, despite the advantages of video games, I am convinced that there are certainly another options for spending free time, which are more beneficial, such as sports, because human health should be taken care of the most in order one to be able to perform their daily tasks and there is no better way for that than sports.
Nowadays
video
games
have become
increasingly
popular not
only
among youngsters,
but
also
among adults. It is the belief of
some
individuals that one should invest his/her time and money in more meaningful pastimes, such as
sports
. Both these hobbies have their similar and opposing advantages that will
be examined
in this essay and at the
end
I will give my
own
perspective on which of them I
think
is more useful.

Sports and
video
games
may seem quite
different
,
even though
they share
some
benefits.
Video
games
usually
involve connecting with other
players
and
thus
create a social environment where the
players
can interact with each other.
In addition
,
many
games
require
players
to work as a team.
Similarly
, the majority of
sports
,
for example
football and basketball,
are played
in a team, resulting in excellent social
skills
and creating a feeling of community.

On the other hand
, those two pastimes
also
appear to be contrasting. Being active enables
people
to stay fit and contributes to their
overall
well-being,
especially
if they sit down daily.
For instance
, if one visits the gym at least two times a week, this will
help
them feel healthier on a daily basis.
However
, rarely do
players
of
video
games
practice
sports
as they are
constantly
immersed in the game.
This is due to the fact that
those
games
make
them relaxed while enjoying the virtual reality and escaping from their problems.

In conclusion
, despite the advantages of
video
games
, I
am convinced
that there are
certainly
another options for spending free time, which are more beneficial, such as
sports
,
because
human health should
be taken
care of the most in order one to be able to perform their daily tasks and there is no better way for that than
sports
.
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IELTS essay Some people argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. Compare and contrast the benefits of video games with other hobbies. In your opinion, which is more useful? Why?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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