Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money.

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. BJJD6
A shelter is human necessity but every country has homeless people. Some people believe that handing them money is the best manner to assist them. However, I think this helps them temporarily because nowadays, meeting one's basic needs, and having a shelter along requires an enormous amount of money and also, a homeless may only be able to have meals in a day with the money we provide. Firstly, there are many people in the streets in our societies and we are not aware of where are the that money we provide with are spent by them. Not only that, but it can also be possible that people get used to receiving money and they might repeatedly demand funds for different reasons. Therefore, there are various methods to support homeless people such as by providing shelter, raising funds for their shelter or providing them jobs in order to start earning. Secondly, it is not solely residents responsibility but also the duty of the authorities. Officials have an upper hand and they can provide people in the streets with an average amount of weekly funds or assign them jobs or supply them with small houses. To summarize, giving money does not help out permanently and we do not know the intentions of how and where the money we provide to people living rough will be spent. Hence, we should rather promote funds to fully assist them by giving them a shelter and the government can appoint them with jobs.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shelter
is human necessity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every country has homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that handing them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the best manner to assist them.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
temporarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays, meeting one's basic needs, and having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shelter
along requires an enormous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
also
, a homeless may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be able to have meals in a day with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
we provide.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the streets in our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
societies and
we are not aware of where are the that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
we provide with
are spent
by them. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
also
be possible that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to receiving
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they might
repeatedly
demand funds for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons.
Therefore
, there are various methods to support homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shelter
, raising funds for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shelter
or providing them jobs in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning.

Secondly
, it is not
solely
residents responsibility
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the duty of the authorities. Officials have an upper
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hand and
they can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the streets with an average amount of weekly funds or assign them jobs or supply them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

To summarize
, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
out
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
permanently and
we do not know the intentions of how and where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
we provide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living rough will
be spent
.
Hence
, we should
rather
promote funds to
fully
assist them by giving them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shelter
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can appoint them with jobs.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money.