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Some people argue that working same organisations is better. Others argued work in different companies is better. Discuss both view give your view.

Some people argue that working same organisations is better. Others argued work in different companies is better. G9wej
For most people, when they get their first job they have little idea whether or not they will remain in the organisation throughout their working life. If they decide to change, they need to consider how this will impact on their career overall. On the one hand, people who stay with the same companie have the advandage of thoroughly understanding how it works and becoming familiar with the staff and processes. If they work hard their promotion prospect are good and they will get greater job security with good pension when they retire. In additional employers offer incentives to long term employees including bonus and reward schemes. On the other hand, one of the drawback of staying under one administration is that person may get stuck doing the same job year after year. In some cases, this can lead to boredom and disillusionment. Moving from one authoritie to another, employees have variety and acquire a range of skill and experience. For example, a father of my friend started his career as a social teacher then he joined in social service and currently he is managing a care home in Australia. This has made him incredibly knowledgable in a range of related field and it has provided him with much more interested work life. In conclusion, although there are benefits for working one organisation, l feel that it also is valuable for employees to able to offer wide range of activities having worked in different communities. In my point of view, change is good and will ultimately benefit the employees and employers.
For most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
first
job they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
they will remain in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
throughout their working life. If they decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, they need to consider how this will impact on their career
overall
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who stay with the same
Possible spelling mistake found.
companie
have the
Possible spelling mistake found.
advandage
of
thoroughly
understanding how it works and becoming familiar with the staff and processes. If they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
their promotion prospect are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
good and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
greater job security with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pension when they retire. In additional employers offer incentives to long term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
including bonus and reward schemes.

On the other hand
, one of the drawback of staying under one administration is that person may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck doing the same job year after year. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, this can lead to boredom and disillusionment. Moving from one
Possible spelling mistake found.
authoritie
to another,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have variety and acquire a range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and experience.
For example
, a father of my friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
his career as a social teacher then he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in social service and
currently
he is managing a care home in Australia. This has made him
incredibly
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledgable
in a range of related field and it has provided him with much more interested work life.

In conclusion
, although there are benefits for working one
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, l feel that it
also
is valuable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
Did you mean "to be able"?
to able
to offer wide range of activities having worked in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
communities. In my point of view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and will
ultimately
benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and employers.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that working same organisations is better. Others argued work in different companies is better.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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