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Some people argue that unemployment is due to the lack of education, while others believe that the government is the one to blame. Discuss both views and give your opnions

Some people argue that unemployment is due to the lack of education, while others believe that the government is the one to blame. Discuss both views and give your opnions 7rn8y
On the other hand, those who think unemployment is related to the government’s policies believe that many negative effects can be caused by subsidies for people who do not have a job. Although that assistant money aims to prevent the unemployed from suffering difficulties in life, they might tend to become indolent and dependent. If they think that the money given to them encourages being unoccupied, they will constantly remain in the jobless state rather than seek employment. In addition, it seems unfair for people who already have a stable career because they have to work hard to earn their living. Therefore, it can badly impact the pace of growth of the nation’s industry, especially the economy.
On the other hand
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
unemployment
is related
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s policies believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects can
be caused
by subsidies for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not have a job. Although that assistant money aims to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the unemployed from suffering difficulties in life, they might tend to become indolent and dependent.

If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them encourages
being unoccupied
, they will
constantly
remain in the jobless state
rather
than seek employment.
In addition
, it seems unfair for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who already have a stable career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn their living.
Therefore
, it can
badly
impact the pace of growth of the nation’s industry,
especially
the economy.

IELTS essay Some people argue that unemployment is due to the lack of education, while others believe that the government is the one to blame. Discuss both views and give your opnions

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
117 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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