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1) These days, both women and men work full time. Women and men should share households tasks equally.

1) These days, both women and men work full time. Women and men should share households tasks equally. VEELK
Some people believe that household chores should be shared justly among male and female as they have to work full time these days. From my perspective, I totally agree with this statement. On the one hand, there are two chief reasons why I am convinced that men and women should do household tasks impartially. First and foremost, an equal distribution of housework exerts an influence on promoting gender equality. The reason is that both gender realize their responsibility in building home, which acts as a catalyst to respecting each other more and alliviating gender inequality situation. Secondly, this trend makes a significant contribution to strengthening family’s bond. If parents split and do housework fairly, they will play an important role in setting a good example for their children, which encourages offspring do household chores with their family and makes every members feel the attachment. On the other hand, it is thought that housework is suitable for women’s strenghthen and men are only responsible for developing financial family. However, such thinking is only valid to a limited extent. This is because women have to miss out equal oppotunities of attending higher education, pursuing their own career and moving up to career ladder. In addition, the overload of househould chores increase women’s chances of mental illnesses. Furthermore, this conventional prejudice cause a lot of increadible pressure for men because of their financial burden, thereby occuring more conflicts in family. Consequently, the percentage of divorce is an ever-increasing menace when both gender do not live uniformly, which has adverse bearings on children’s development noticeably. In conclusion, because male and female have a tendency to work full time, they should allocate household tasks equally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chores should
be shared
justly
among male and female as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work full time these days. From my perspective, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

On the one hand, there are two chief reasons why I
am convinced
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
tasks
impartially
.
First
and foremost, an equal distribution of housework exerts an influence on promoting gender equality. The reason is that both gender realize their responsibility in building home, which acts as a catalyst to respecting each other more and
Possible spelling mistake found.
alliviating
gender inequality situation.
Secondly
, this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a significant contribution to strengthening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
bond. If parents split and do housework
fairly
, they will play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in setting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for their children, which encourages offspring do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chores with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "member"?
members
feel the attachment.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that housework is suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
strenghthen
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
responsible for developing financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
However
, such thinking is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
valid to a limited extent. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
miss out equal
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppotunities
of attending higher education, pursuing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career and moving up to career ladder.
In addition
, the overload of
Possible spelling mistake found.
househould
chores increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
chances of mental illnesses.
Furthermore
, this conventional prejudice cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
increadible
pressure for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their financial burden, thereby
Possible spelling mistake found.
occuring
more conflicts in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Consequently
, the percentage of divorce is an ever-increasing menace when both gender do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
uniformly
, which has adverse bearings on children’s development
noticeably
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
male and female have a tendency to work full time, they should allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
tasks
equally
.
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IELTS essay 1) These days, both women and men work full time. Women and men should share households tasks equally.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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