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Some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. But other people think the success is much related to the mental attitude. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.5

Some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. But other people think the success is much related to the mental attitude. v. 5
Nowadays, many hold the view that the strongest sports players can gain the first prize in matches. However, there is a body of opinion which holds that positive mental attitude influences the final results of games. In this essay I will examine both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion. To begin with, it is undeniable that people who are physically strongest can easily achieve the greatest success, since sports require players to have strength. In this way, those who are tallest or fittest can easily beat those who are not. For example, James, the most successful basketball player in the world, enjoys advantages in length and strength. In addition, every team member who is the strongest can also help the whole team gain the biggest achievements. A good case in point is that the Eagle team has won the most champions in the final competitions of the American football only because its group members are stronger than any other team’s ones. On the other hand, however, positive mental attitude can also help individuals achieve the biggest success in some sports. This is because such mental attitude as tenacity can allow the players to persist to the end in the sports which take longer time. For instance, most of the marathon champions are not those who are the strongest but those who can fight to the end. Furthermore, self-confidence can encourage team players to win matches. For instance, the football team of Korea in the 2018 world cup miraculously conquered that of Germany owing to the 100% confidence in themselves rather than stronger physical conditions. To summarize, there is no doubt that the strongest bodies can help individuals and groups attain the greatest achievement. At the same, however, confidence and tenacity are also the most important factors to this huge outcome. In the final analysis, therefore, one can only conclude that the strongest sportsmen and teams with positive mental attitude can achieve the greatest success.
Nowadays,
Possible agreement error. The noun hold seems to be countable; consider using: "many holds".
many hold
the view that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
can gain the
first
prize in matches.
However
, there is a body of opinion which holds that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
influences the final results of games. In this essay I will examine both sides of the debate to seek a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
physically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongest
can
easily
achieve the greatest success, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to have strength. In this way, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are tallest or fittest can
easily
beat those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not.
For example
, James, the most successful basketball
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
in the world, enjoys advantages in length and strength.
In addition
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
member
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongest
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
gain the biggest achievements. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
case in point is that the Eagle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
has won the most champions in the final competitions of the American football
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its group members are stronger than any other
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team’s
ones.

On the other hand
,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals achieve the biggest success in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
as tenacity can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to persist to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which take longer time.
For instance
, most of the marathon champions are not those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can fight to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Furthermore
, self-confidence can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to win matches.
For instance
, the football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
of Korea in the 2018 world cup
miraculously
conquered that of Germany owing to the 100% confidence in themselves
rather
than stronger physical conditions.

To summarize
, there is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongest
bodies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals and groups attain the greatest achievement. At the same,
however
, confidence and tenacity are
also
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors to this huge outcome. In the final analysis,
therefore
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
conclude that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongest
sportsmen and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
can achieve the greatest success.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. But other people think the success is much related to the mental attitude. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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