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Some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports But other people think that success is much related to mental attitude Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports But other people think that success is much related to mental attitude 2
In the modern world, it is commonly seen, many students are studying in foreign universities as per their parent's advice. However, we can identify some drawbacks and advantages of the distance learning process which is abroad university. Acquisition of knowledge in a different cultural background is essential for self-development of the children, but there will also be some drawbacks. Firstly, nowadays there is a tremendous amount of recognized universities around the world which provide undergraduate and postgraduate qualifications. There is no argument that those colleges and universities provide proper and quality education for their students. It is beneficial for those students achieving their targets and goals naturally. Moreover, the student's self-confidence and language ability will be improved by interacting with different cultures. It is commonly seen that most of the student has many friends all over the world who was studying in abroad which is assisting them to adopt any cultural background. However, the distance learning process can be problematic for some individuals with some conditions. In most cases, parents supervising will be lost for their children. In this case, those students can addict to the dugs and some detrimental habits. Also, racism is one of the problems that can affect children's lives, those children who suffer from those social issues can end their lives and can be suicidal. For example, in Australia, most of the brown-coloured people are harassed by other people. To sum up, many advantages are learning abroad in college or university. However, parents supervising is essential to continue their studies properly. Otherwise, there will be horrific consequences to face.
In the modern world, it is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are studying in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
as per their parent's advice.
However
, we can identify
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks and advantages of the distance learning process which is abroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. Acquisition of knowledge in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural background is essential for self-development of the children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

Firstly
, nowadays there is a tremendous amount of recognized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
around the world which provide undergraduate and postgraduate qualifications. There is no argument that those colleges and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
provide proper and quality education for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It is beneficial for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
achieving their targets and goals
naturally
.
Moreover
, the student's self-confidence and language ability will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by interacting with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures. It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
friends all over the world who was studying in abroad which is assisting them to adopt any cultural background.

However
, the distance learning process can be problematic for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conditions.
In most cases
, parents supervising will
be lost
for their children.
In this case
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can addict to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
dugs
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental habits.
Also
, racism is one of the problems that can affect children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, those children who suffer from those social issues can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and can be suicidal.
For example
, in Australia, most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
brown-coloured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are harassed
by other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages are learning abroad in college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
However
, parents supervising is essential to continue their studies
properly
.
Otherwise
, there will be horrific
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
face.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports But other people think that success is much related to mental attitude 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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