Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some People Argue That Technological Inventions, Such As Mobile Phones, Are Making People Socially Less Interactive

Some People Argue That Technological Inventions, Such As Mobile Phones, Are Making People Socially Less Interactive Lq3M3
The technology advancements in the 20th century have been beyond our wildest expectations, and the phenomena like IT revolution has resulted in revolution of platforms namely, FaceTime, video calls, etc. Nevertheless, people have a difference of opinion about the development of technology, where some believe that with this invention public has become less socialized with others. Indeed, I disagree with the viewpoint due to the fact that the technological invention has increased the bonding among people. The invention of automation has always been a boon to the public and the world, because after these discoveries the commutation system has become easier the previously. For Instance, the mobile communication has made it possible to have video calls and converse many hours with their parents, relatives and friends even while sitting in any part of the world. Furthermore, through social media like WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, nowadays people are interacting more frequently with others than in the past. For example, a photo, video or a status over any of the social media websites can reach people within fraction of seconds, unlike the olden days, where the photo albums may take more time to reach our kith and kin. Since the internet has provided certain platforms, where we can meet new people with same ideology as ours, so the social circle of an individual grows. A good example of this can be Facebook, it provides facility to create groups like arts club, movie club, etc. and stranger join these considering their common interest. On the other hand, in the olden days or may be a decade ago people have to wait for the next day's newspaper or for news updates on radio and television to know about the previous day details. However, through the progression in mechanization, the current affairs in the nook and cranny of the world can be known within a short span of time. In addition, over this progression, nowadays people are talking and chatting more time with their family, friends and colleagues and communication became user-friendly. To conclude, the improvements in technology and automation has always made the life easier and more convenient than the old method since it saves lots of time and energy as you do not see each other for a conversation. Moreover, this has always been a blessing to the human life as we are able to converse with others without any discomfort.
The technology advancements in the 20th century have been beyond our wildest expectations, and the phenomena like IT revolution has resulted in revolution of platforms
namely
, FaceTime, video calls, etc.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a difference of opinion about the development of technology, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that with this invention public has become less socialized with others.
Indeed
, I disagree with the viewpoint due to the fact that the technological invention has increased the bonding among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The invention of automation has always been a boon to the public and the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after these discoveries the commutation system has become easier the previously.
For Instance
, the mobile communication has made it possible to have video calls and converse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours with their parents, relatives and friends even while sitting in any part of the world.
Furthermore
, through social media like WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interacting more
frequently
with others than in the past.
For example
, a photo, video or a status over any of the social media websites can reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
within fraction of seconds, unlike the olden days, where the photo albums may take more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reach our kith and kin.

Since the internet has provided certain platforms, where we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with same ideology as ours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the social circle of an individual grows. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this can be Facebook, it provides facility to create groups like arts club, movie club, etc. and stranger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
these considering their common interest. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in the olden days or may be a decade ago
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for the
next
day's newspaper or for news updates on radio and television to know about the previous day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
However
, through the progression in mechanization, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs in the nook and cranny of the world can
be known
within a short span of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In addition
, over this progression, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are talking and chatting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family, friends and colleagues and communication became user-friendly.

To conclude
, the improvements in technology and automation has always made the life easier and more convenient than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
method since it saves lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy as you do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
for a conversation.
Moreover
, this has always been a blessing to the human life as we are able to converse with others without any discomfort.

IELTS essay Some People Argue That Technological Inventions, Such As Mobile Phones, Are Making People Socially Less Interactive

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some People Argue That Technological Inventions, Such As Mobile Phones, Are Making People Socially Less Interactive