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Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones,are making people less interactive.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones, are making people less interactive. qgpd
It is undoubtedly that technology has been boon to our modern era. As we step forward we accept new technology but we forgotten socialization. It’s often argued by some people that, people have became less interactive with each other due to new inventions like mobile phones, laptop etc. I partially agree with this statement and I discuss my viewpoint in this essay. Firstly, nowadays most of children studying via online classes though mobile unlike in school with other students and teachers. Meanwhile, they have less direct interact with their tutor. As a result student can’t make good repo with their instructor. Moreover, kids in today’s globe spend their lesuire time with playing games on computers. As an effect they have not interactivity with their friends and neighbor’s kids. This makes people less socialize with other due to new machinery. On the flip side, new telecommunication makes the people to explore the world though sitting at home and to communicate with one who is in any part of world. For instance, we can talk with our beloved one via video calling on skype or other apps so because of that we can interact with people anytime and anywhere. In addition we could get plethora of information about various subjects and we could also learn everything by help of some applications in mobile like Google, U tube. In conclusion, new technology makes people introvert and shy for social gathering. However, these invention also encourage public to do something new though home and inteact people directly with the world. There are many demerits of new technological inventions but advantages of technology are far more weighted than its disadvantages.
It is
undoubtedly
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has been boon to our modern era. As we step forward we accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we forgotten socialization. It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Use past participle here: "become".
became
less interactive with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions like mobile phones, laptop etc. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and I discuss my viewpoint in this essay.

Firstly
, nowadays
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the children") or simply say "most children".
most of children
studying via online classes though mobile unlike in school with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students and teachers. Meanwhile, they have less direct interact with their tutor.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result student can’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
repo with their instructor.
Moreover
, kids in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s globe spend their
Possible spelling mistake found.
lesuire
time with playing games on computers. As an effect they have not interactivity with their friends and neighbor’s kids.
Did you mean "these"?
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
machinery.

On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
telecommunication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to explore the world though sitting at home and to communicate with one who is in any part of world.
For instance
, we can talk with our beloved one via video calling on skype or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
apps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that we can interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
anytime and anywhere. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, we".
addition we
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
plethora of information about various
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subjects and
we could
also
learn everything by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
applications in mobile like Google, U tube.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
introvert and shy for social gathering.
However
,
Did you mean "this invention" or "these inventions"?
these invention
also
encourage public to do something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
though home and
Possible spelling mistake found.
inteact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
directly
with the world. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technological inventions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are far more weighted than its disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that technological inventions such as mobile phones, are making people less interactive.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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