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Some people argue that secondary school students should learn a subject about international news, while other people believe that it is a waste of time. Describe both arguments and say your opinion.

Some people argue that secondary school students should learn a subject about international news, while other people believe that it is a waste of time. Describe both arguments and say your opinion. KYg91
It goes without saying that international news has lots of vital impact on nowadays society. Some people hold a belief that we should put international news on the secondary school curriculum, while others argue that it is such a waste of time. Personally, I strongly believe that replacing news with other subjects is too dangerous. On the one hand, putting international news in the secondary school curriculum has numerous benefits. First of all, the exposure to the world news expands young learners’ knowledge and thus widen their outlook. For example, students can get knowledge about what is trending right now, what is the most controversial issue, hence, they can develop soft skills and knowledge such as communication, debate, . . . Moreover, by following international news, the young learners become more conscious of global issues such as global warming and climate change, which motivates them to adopt a lifestyle that is more healthy and friendly to the Earth. Take marine debris news as an excellent example, when youngsters acknowledge the fact that the sea is heavily polluted, they started to use recyclable stuff, and even persuade others to live a more friendly life. On the other hand, the nature of news is changeable. International news changes over time, thus it would be practically impossible to introduce as a subject. Otherwise, the program and books will change casually. Another crucial reason for not making international news as a new subject is that news can simply be misleading, distorted, irrelevant since media organizations are struggling to win reader’s attention. They will do at any cost to exaggerate their news, even if it is fake. Furthermore, news can be accessed conveniently at home. Why have to go to school and learn a whole new lesson when students can sit comfortably at home, watching TV or surfing the internet and acquiring news without effort. In conclusion, it is undeniable that international news could be a potential subject. However, in my opinion, I think introducing news in the curriculum is needless, society and the government should not put too much pressure on young learners. We had better maintaining this education system.
It goes without saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
has lots of vital impact on nowadays society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold a belief that we should put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the secondary school curriculum, while others argue that it is such a waste of time.
Personally
, I
strongly
believe that replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

On the one hand, putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the secondary school curriculum has numerous benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the exposure to the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
expands young learners’ knowledge and
thus
widen their outlook.
For example
, students can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about what is trending right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, what is the most controversial issue,
hence
, they can develop soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge such as communication, debate
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Moreover
, by following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, the young learners become more conscious of global issues such as global warming and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, which motivates them to adopt a lifestyle
that is
more healthy and friendly to the Earth. Take marine debris
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as an excellent example, when youngsters acknowledge the fact that the sea is
heavily
polluted, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
recyclable stuff, and even persuade others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a more friendly life.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is changeable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over time,
thus
it would be
practically
impossible to introduce as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
Otherwise
, the program and books will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
casually
. Another crucial reason for not making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can
simply
be misleading, distorted, irrelevant since media organizations are struggling to win reader’s attention. They will do at any cost to exaggerate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, even if it is fake.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can
be accessed
conveniently
at home. Why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to school and learn a whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
lesson when students can sit
comfortably
at home, watching TV or surfing the internet and acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
without effort.

In conclusion
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
could be a potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
However
, in my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the curriculum is needless, society and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not put too much pressure on young learners. We had better maintaining this education system.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that secondary school students should learn a subject about international news, while other people believe that it is a waste of time. Describe both arguments and say your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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