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Some people argue that parents should teach how to become a good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to teach this. Give your opinion.

Some people argue that parents should teach how to become a good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to teach this. Give your opinion. Nr8aj
It is argued that parents ought to tech children how to be a good member of society. While others think that schools are theplace where children should learn this. Although Parents are the one who know their children better than anyone, in schools, pupils can profoundly learn this by performing voluntary work. This essay agrees with the former view. Parents are the who know their children very well. All children have different and individual personality. In order for better understanding about social skills, parents can teach children by only theoretical way and not by practical way. However, nowadays, it becomes impossible for parents do not spend much time with their children, due to the workloads. That is why, this essay disagrees that children should be taught from parents. For instance, according to one study more than 54 percentage of couples, of the total population of India, do overtime, in order to raise wages. Moreover, schools can teach children by organizing voluntary service, where children can overwhelming participate and assist to society and each other. Therefore, this essay believes that schools should be the one who take responsibility for this. For instance according to one study more than 54 percentage of couples of the total population of India perform overtime, in order to raise wages. For instance, according to a study, in India, schools often persuade children to participate in voluntary service, where children yield to participate in order to achieve good marks in the final exam. To conclude, despite that Parents should take responsibility to teach children how to become avoid member of society, schools can teach them by enforcing children.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to tech
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member of society.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
theplace
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn this. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the one who know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better than anyone, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, pupils can
profoundly
learn this by performing voluntary work. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the former view.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are the who know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and individual personality. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
for better understanding about social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
theoretical way and not by practical way.
However
, nowadays, it becomes impossible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not spend much time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, due to the workloads.
That is
why, this essay disagrees that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For instance
, according to one study more than 54 percentage of couples, of the total population of India, do overtime, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to raise wages.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by organizing voluntary service, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can overwhelming participate and assist to society and each other.
Therefore
, this essay believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should be the one who take responsibility for this.
For instance
according to one study more than 54 percentage of couples of the total population of India perform overtime, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to raise wages.
For instance
, according to a study, in India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in voluntary service, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
yield to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
marks in the final exam.

To conclude
, despite that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should take responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to become avoid member of society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them by enforcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that parents should teach how to become a good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to teach this. Give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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