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Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? 15VlL
Pollution of water bodies is one of the main environmental challenges that faces society currently. As all know 70% of this planet is water, but unfortunately, we are not taking care properly of this vital resource and the reason is because many economic activities have contributed to contaminate indiscriminately our lakes, rivers, streams and ocean affecting negatively wildlife, ecosystems even human life. Within the main reasons to pollute the water bodies we can find: industrial activities, mining, pesticides and fertilizers, etc. Regarding the industrial activities, big companies release to the rivers and oceans chemistry waste that mixed with the water produce the destruction of ecosystems and wildlife. Also these activities release to the air carbon dioxide that combined with the vapor of water produce acid rainfall. Mining is also one of the most dangerous activities that contaminate the water because not only the soil is removed and contaminate rivers and lakes, but the coal extracted also release dangerous particles with the same negative effects for native species of amphibians, fishes which become carriers and transmit this waste to the humans. The indiscriminate usage of pesticide and fertilizers to protect the crops from bacteria and plagues is another cause of contamination of water bodies. The chemistry components of these substances mixed with the water is capable to kill wildlife and affect negatively complete ecosystems. Also we have the oil leakage in oceans. This oil layer is very destructive and hard to remove from the water bodies affecting a wide range of wildlife such as whales, turtles, coral reef, etc. Also the effects due to this kind of pollution can take over 100 years to overcome. Despite of this hard reality, the efforts to overcome this situation have been carried out by many people and organizations interested in protect the natural resources, mainly the water bodies because we have finally understand that without water there is no life in the planet. These efforts are represented by the application of certain alternatives to avoid the spreading of sewage and other dangerous chemistry and toxic wastes, for instance: the industrial treatment in which the levels of pollution of sewage is decrease through chemical processes.
Pollution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
is one of the main environmental challenges that faces society
currently
. As all know 70% of this planet is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, we are not taking care
properly
of this vital resource and the reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have contributed to contaminate
indiscriminately
our lakes, rivers, streams and ocean affecting
negatively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
, ecosystems even human life.

Within the main reasons to pollute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
we can find: industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, mining, pesticides and fertilizers, etc.

Regarding the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
release to the rivers and oceans chemistry waste that mixed with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
produce the destruction of ecosystems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
release to the air carbon dioxide that combined with the vapor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
produce acid rainfall.

Mining is
also
one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that contaminate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the soil
is removed
and contaminate rivers and lakes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the coal extracted
also
release
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
particles with the same
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects for native species of amphibians, fishes which become carriers and transmit this waste to the humans.

The indiscriminate usage of pesticide and fertilizers to protect the crops from bacteria and plagues is another cause of contamination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
. The chemistry components of these substances mixed with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is capable to kill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
and affect
negatively
complete ecosystems.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
we have the oil leakage in oceans. This oil layer is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
destructive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to remove from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
affecting a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
such as whales, turtles, coral reef, etc.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the effects due to this kind of pollution can take over 100 years to overcome.

Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
reality, the efforts to overcome this situation have
been carried
out by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and organizations interested in protect the natural resources,
mainly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bodies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have
finally
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "understood".
understand
that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
there is no life in the planet. These efforts
are represented
by the application of certain alternatives to avoid the spreading of sewage and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
chemistry and toxic wastes,
for instance
: the industrial treatment in which the levels of pollution of sewage is decrease through chemical processes.
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IELTS essay Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
360 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 5.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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