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Some people argue that parents should cultivate children to make a contribution to society while others believe that school is responsible for teaching this.

Some people argue that parents should cultivate children to make a contribution to society while others believe that school is responsible for teaching this. In my opinion, I think that a parallel development of both parental instruction and school education can yield greater outcomes if we aim to build a more close-knit and prosperous community. On the one hand, parents play an vitally important role in teaching children how to behave in their early lives. It is their parents that children spend most of the time with before they are old enough to attend school. Young children are prone to copy what their parents say and do just as they see so parents should act as an example. For instance, if a couple often does volunteer services when they are free, such as tendering public gardens and removing graffiti on the wall, their children could naturally join them, thereby making a devotion to the community. By contrast, the repeatedly inappropriate behaviours of parents could result mistakes of their children, such as throwing litter at will and trampling on the grass. On the other hand, school should also be held accountable for teaching children behavioral norms. Although one main function of school is to teach students knowledge of academic subjects, the wisdom of being a good member of society and similar courses are of equal significance to be included in the school curriculum. No matter how exceptional one achieves in academic performance, he or she cannot truly achieve fame and wealth unless something really beneficial to the whole community has been done. For example, teachers can teach students how to tell right from wrong because there are numerous ethical dilemmas one will face in the future, such as making false claims about the products to strike a deal with clients. In short, a holistic education would be the best option for both society and individuals. In conclusion, I personally argue that both parents and teachers are important when guiding children to become good members of society.
Some
people
argue that
parents
should cultivate
children
to
make
a contribution to
society
while others believe that
school
is responsible for teaching this. In my opinion, I
think
that a parallel development of both parental instruction and
school
education can yield greater outcomes if we aim to build a more close-knit and prosperous community.

On the one hand,
parents
play
an
vitally
important
role in teaching
children
how to behave in their early
lives
. It is their
parents
that
children
spend most of the time with
before
they are
old
enough
to attend
school
. Young
children
are prone to copy what their
parents
say and do
just
as they
see
so
parents
should act as an example.
For instance
, if a couple
often
does volunteer services when they are free, such as tendering public gardens and removing graffiti on the wall, their
children
could
naturally
join
them, thereby making a devotion to the community. By contrast, the
repeatedly
inappropriate
behaviours
of
parents
could result mistakes of their
children
, such as throwing litter at will and trampling on the grass.

On the other hand
,
school
should
also
be held
accountable for teaching
children
behavioral norms. Although one main function of
school
is to teach students knowledge of academic subjects, the wisdom of being a
good
member of
society
and similar courses are of equal significance to
be included
in the
school
curriculum. No matter how exceptional one achieves in academic performance, he or she cannot
truly
achieve fame and wealth unless something
really
beneficial to the whole community has
been done
.
For example
, teachers can teach students how to
tell
right from
wrong
because
there are numerous ethical dilemmas one will face in the future, such as making false claims about the products to strike a deal with clients. In short, a holistic education would be the best option for both
society
and individuals.

In conclusion
, I
personally
argue that both
parents
and teachers are
important
when guiding
children
to become
good
members of
society
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that parents should cultivate children to make a contribution to society while others believe that school is responsible for teaching this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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