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Digital business is beneficial for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

These days, internet business is developed more and more all over the world. I agree with the statement that this trend of business is helpful for society. There are several reasons why digital economy is beneficial. Today, people are spending more money online. Firstly, nowadays, consumer goods such as food, medicine, commodity and cosmetic are bought and sold through online services like Facebook, Lazada and Foodpanda with the huge growth of internet users. Secondly, digital business has become more expanded during the Covid-19 pandemic. For example, people are not allowed to go out because of quarantine and they have to stay at only their houses. As a result, most of them order and consume service goods with the help of online. From this evidence, it is clear to me that the main benefits are, therefore, to the companies and not to the customer. I will give you a specific example. In other worlds, Covid 19 virus spreads all over the world, as you know. So, the business like restaurants, offices and companies are closed. As a consequence, they had to face many concerns. But, fortunately, with the increase of internet, they can solve the difficulties. For instance, staffs can work from home without going to office. People, therefore, can work conveniently from home with flexible schedule, if they have only internet and computer. Moreover, the online part-time employment rates also go up because every people (even housewives, breadwinners and disable) can join every online part-time job through internet. Likewise, the restaurants can sell their food all the way through food services. This trend can be also called Future of Work and it will be promoted throughout the world later. Furthermore, digital business can also reduce environmental effects. Because People do not need to go office and can work from home. So, the emissions from the cars that go home from work will alleviate and the traffic problem will be solved automatically. To concluded, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that digital business can create good impacts for us and is critical.
These days, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is developed
more and more all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that this trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is helpful for society. There are several reasons why digital economy is beneficial.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending more money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Firstly
, nowadays, consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
such as food, medicine, commodity and cosmetic are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
and sold through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
services like Facebook, Lazada and Foodpanda with the huge growth of internet users.
Secondly
, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has become more expanded during the Covid-19 pandemic.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to go out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
quarantine and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
As a result
, most of them order and consume service
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of online.

From this evidence, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to me that the main benefits are,
therefore
, to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and not to the customer. I will give you a specific example. In other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worlds
,
Did you mean “COVID-19” or the alternative spelling “Covid-19” (= coronavirus)?
Covid 19
virus spreads all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, as you know.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
like restaurants, offices and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are closed
. As a consequence, they had to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
concerns.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
fortunately
, with the increase of internet, they can solve the difficulties.
For instance
, staffs can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home without going to office.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
,
therefore
, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
conveniently
from home with flexible schedule, if they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
internet and computer.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
part-time employment rates
also
go up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(even housewives, breadwinners and disable) can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
part-time job through internet.
Likewise
, the restaurants can sell their food all the way through food services. This trend can be
also
called Future of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Work and
it will
be promoted
throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
later.

Furthermore
, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
environmental effects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not need to go office and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the emissions from the cars that go home from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
will alleviate and the traffic problem will
be solved
automatically
.

To concluded, for the reasons mentioned above, I believe that digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impacts for us and is critical.
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IELTS essay Digital business is beneficial for society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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