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Some people argue that, kids who are given wallet cash every week have little difficulties controlling money when they become adolescents.

Some people argue that, kids who are given wallet cash every week have little difficulties controlling money when they become adolescents. waGjN
Some people argue that, kids who are given wallet cash every week have little difficulties controlling money when they become adolescents. I completely agree with this view and I believe that children should learn how to manage their money which is given by their parents. To begin with, there are number of benefits which are still being observed. Firstly, pocket money received by parents does not contribute children's life when they become adults, but children learn about money management in their prime of life if parents give them to a little money per week. Secondly, kids improve their money management skills by experiencing to spend their pocket money. A particularly good example here is that, children can develop self-awareness to spend money and it can be taught effectively how to manage their money. On the one hand, there are another plus points of this claim. Initially, children can learn how to spend money wisely and how to save money for their needs. Moreover, childhood experiences teach children to put their money aside weekly and save their money. One good illustration is that, pocket money given in early age is useful tool to improve financial management. To sum up, a knowledge of cash management requires an early experience of expenditure and savings. I fully agree with the idea that pocket money is an effective learning tool in associated with managing money in order to reduce future financial problems.
Some
people
argue that, kids who are
given
wallet cash every week have
little
difficulties controlling
money
when they become adolescents. I completely
agree
with this view and I believe that
children
should learn how to manage their
money
which is
given
by their parents.

To
begin
with, there are number of benefits which are
still
being observed
.
Firstly
, pocket
money
received by parents does not contribute children's life when they become adults,
but
children
learn about
money
management in their prime of life if parents give them to a
little
money
per week.
Secondly
, kids
improve
their
money
management
skills
by experiencing to spend their pocket
money
. A
particularly
good
example here is that,
children
can develop self-awareness to spend
money
and it can
be taught
effectively
how to manage their money.

On the one hand, there are another plus points of this claim.
Initially
,
children
can learn how to spend
money
wisely
and how to save
money
for their needs.
Moreover
, childhood experiences teach
children
to put their
money
aside weekly and save their
money
. One
good
illustration is that, pocket
money
given
in early age is useful tool to
improve
financial management.

To sum up, a knowledge of cash management requires an early experience of expenditure and savings. I
fully
agree
with the
idea
that pocket
money
is an effective learning tool in associated with managing
money
in order to
reduce
future financial problems.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that, kids who are given wallet cash every week have little difficulties controlling money when they become adolescents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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