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Some people argue that, kids who are given wallet cash every week have little difficulties controlling money when they become adolescents.

Some people argue that, kids who are given wallet cash every week have little difficulties controlling money when they become adolescents. waGjN
Some people argue that, kids who are given wallet cash every week have little difficulties controlling money when they become adolescents. I completely agree with this view and I believe that children should learn how to manage their money which is given by their parents. To begin with, there are number of benefits which are still being observed. Firstly, pocket money received by parents does not contribute children's life when they become adults, but children learn about money management in their prime of life if parents give them to a little money per week. Secondly, kids improve their money management skills by experiencing to spend their pocket money. A particularly good example here is that, children can develop self-awareness to spend money and it can be taught effectively how to manage their money. On the one hand, there are another plus points of this claim. Initially, children can learn how to spend money wisely and how to save money for their needs. Moreover, childhood experiences teach children to put their money aside weekly and save their money. One good illustration is that, pocket money given in early age is useful tool to improve financial management. To sum up, a knowledge of cash management requires an early experience of expenditure and savings. I fully agree with the idea that pocket money is an effective learning tool in associated with managing money in order to reduce future financial problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that, kids who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
wallet cash every week have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difficulties controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when they become adolescents. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should learn how to manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their parents.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are number of benefits which are
still
being observed
.
Firstly
, pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
received by parents does not contribute children's life when they become adults,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management in their prime of life if parents give them to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
per week.
Secondly
, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by experiencing to spend their pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can develop self-awareness to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and it can
be taught
effectively
how to manage their money.

On the one hand, there are another plus points of this claim.
Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn how to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
wisely
and how to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their needs.
Moreover
, childhood experiences teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
aside weekly and save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration is that, pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in early age is useful tool to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
financial management.

To sum up, a knowledge of cash management requires an early experience of expenditure and savings. I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an effective learning tool in associated with managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
future financial problems.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that, kids who are given wallet cash every week have little difficulties controlling money when they become adolescents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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