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Money is an important thing among people.Some people think that giving pocket money to children.

Money is an important thing among people. Some people think that giving pocket money to children. 2rkqj
Money is an important thing among people. Some people think that giving pocket money to children. It will be the best way managing money in children's future life. I agree with this opinion. Children will learn how to manage money step by step. First of all, giving money weekly pocket money to children that improve their money management by early age. Thats why parents should give pocket money of their children. However other negative hand of giving money children has curious all toys and cute things. Such kind of things attract them. In that time children waste their money without purpose. But I think children learn managing money by their false step by step. Secondly, children can learn how to save money for their needs day by day. And they separate their money to necessary things. In short, I fully agree with giving money weekly from early age. From this way children will be responsibility to money and they learn not to spend money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It will be the best way managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in children's future life. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
step by step.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
weekly pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management by early age.
Possible spelling mistake found
Thats
why parents should give pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
hand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has curious all toys and cute things. Such kind of things attract them. In that time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without purpose.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by their false step by step.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their needs day by day. And they separate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to necessary things.

In short, I
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
weekly from early age. From this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be responsibility to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
not to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.

IELTS essay Money is an important thing among people. Some people think that giving pocket money to children.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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