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Many people think that kids need to get money for their needs from a young age and this will help them use the money properly in the future.

Many people think that kids need to get money for their needs from a young age and this will help them use the money properly in the future. LlnaG
Many people think that kids need to get money for their needs from a young age and this will help them use the money properly in the future. I partially agree with this opinion. On the one hand, there are many good sides to this idea and I agree with them. For example, firstly, teenagers learn in what ways and under what circumstances to use money. For instance, if they go to the shop or market they can spend their money. Secondly, children can save the pocket money they receive for themselves and learn to use it correct and effectively in the future. On the other hand, there are some reasons why people are dissatisfied with this idea. Initially, it is they spend a lot of money and get depressed, if they get into trouble in the future. In addition, if children always have money in their hand, they can go astray. For example, they can use their money to buy alcohol and drugs. In the final analysis, people need to be taught to spend money well andefficienttly from a young age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that kids need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their needs from a young age and this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
properly
in the future. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.
For example
,
firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
learn in what ways and under what circumstances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, if they go to the shop or market they can spend their money.

Secondly
, children can save the pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they receive for themselves and learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it correct and
effectively
in the future.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are dissatisfied
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
Initially
, it is they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depressed, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into trouble in the future.
In addition
, if children always have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in their hand, they can go astray.
For example
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
alcohol and drugs.

In the final analysis,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to
be taught
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
well
Possible spelling mistake found.
andefficienttly
from a young age.
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IELTS essay Many people think that kids need to get money for their needs from a young age and this will help them use the money properly in the future.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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