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myriad number of individuals consider that a person who does illegal things should

myriad number of individuals consider that a person who does illegal things should eRr9x
A myriad number of individuals consider that a person who does illegal things should be executed. While, rest who oppose the statement assume that legalized killing is not acceptable in the present time. I agree with the formal notion. However, the loss caused by this can not be neglected. This essay is going to articulate both sides of it with my perception in upcoming paragraphs. To embark on, as we know laws are made for the sake of common public's safety. However, when individuals start flaunting the laws, that time government has to take concrete step. For example, of we talk talk about major crimes such as rapes, and murders, younger people are being indulged in these cases day by day, as they rape the innocent girls, and simultaneously murder them brutally in order to escape from trials. Furthermore, if experts are to be believed, if death warrant had introduced all around the globe for the major offenses, the ratio of bad deeds would have been stopped to some extent. Consequently, those who perform illegal acts, would have got petrified by having a thought of it. On the other hand, who oppose the said notion have different point of view as they considered that if death sentence is implemented then many innocent people will have to face the consequences of those crimes which they may not have done. For example, if we talk about juvenile delinquent. In most cases, they repentance on what awful act have been done by them. Therefore, they should be given a mercy chance instead of harsh punishment so that they could improve themselves. To conclude, hence, I m fully in favour of death execution in case of major sinful acts. However, those who admit their mistake and ask for a chance to improve, then they should also be given a chance to improvement
A myriad number of individuals consider that a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
does illegal things should
be executed
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
oppose the statement assume that legalized killing is not acceptable in the present time. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the formal notion.
However
, the loss caused by this can not
be neglected
. This essay is going to articulate both sides of it with my perception in upcoming paragraphs.

To embark on, as we know laws
are made
for the sake of common public's safety.
However
, when individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
flaunting the laws, that time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take concrete step.
For example
, of we
Possible typo: you repeated a word
talk talk
about major crimes such as rapes, and murders, younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
being indulged
in these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cases'" or "case's"?
cases
day by day, as they rape the innocent girls, and
simultaneously
murder them
brutally
in order to escape from trials.
Furthermore
, if experts are to
be believed
, if death warrant had introduced all around the globe for the major offenses, the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
deeds would have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Consequently
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
perform illegal acts, would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
petrified by having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of it.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
oppose the said notion have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of view as they considered that if death sentence
is implemented
then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the consequences of those crimes which they may not have done.
For example
, if we talk about juvenile delinquent.
In most cases
,
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they repentance
on what awful act have
been done
by them.
Therefore
, they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a mercy chance
instead
of harsh punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.

To conclude
,
hence
, I m
fully
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of death execution in case of major sinful acts.
However
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
admit their mistake and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
, then they should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance to improvement
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IELTS essay myriad number of individuals consider that a person who does illegal things should

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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