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Some people argue that it is better that a large proportion of young people attend university. Others believe that we should encourage them to become car mechanics, builders, etc. what is your opinion.

Some people argue that it is better that a large proportion of young people attend university. Others believe that we should encourage them to become car mechanics, builders, etc. what is your opinion. DYPla
A nation prosperity depends on it’s education citizens. Hence, it is very important for every citizen to have access to the right kind of education. I think vocational training is very important in a country because day by day increased unemployment rate so that if people are take vocational training they can able to any type of work. Now a day, vocational study is very demand in this world because many company want to hair mechanics, electrician and so on. Furthermore, some student’s family do not have the financial ability to acquire higher education. Moreover, students can easily get the job when they have vocational training and they can earn money when they are as a student. By the vocational training, they can self-dependent and also they will be able to support the family financially. In addition, many students do not have the mental ability to pursue higher education. These students can acquire vocational training as it is easier. Vocational training reduces unemployment rate which develop in a country. Vocational training can create a lot of jobs opportunity which is very essential for a country. In consultation, vocational training much easier than university education because university education has some requirement which some student cannot effort after that they left the study. Students can easily get the job when they complete vocational training.
A nation prosperity depends on it’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
citizens.
Hence
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every citizen to have access to the right kind of education.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
day by day increased unemployment rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are take vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
they
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
any type of work.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day, vocational study is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
demand in this world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
want to hair mechanics, electrician and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
family do not have the financial ability to acquire higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job when they have vocational
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
training and
they can earn money when they are as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. By the vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
, they
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
can self-dependent
and
also
they will be able to support the family
financially
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not have the mental ability to pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can acquire vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
as it is easier. Vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
unemployment rate which develop in a country. Vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
can create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
jobs opportunity which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for a country.

In consultation, vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
much easier than university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
requirement which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
cannot effort after that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the study.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job when they complete vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that it is better that a large proportion of young people attend university. Others believe that we should encourage them to become car mechanics, builders, etc. what is your opinion.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
222 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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