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An increasing number of people are leaving their own poorer countries . What problems does this cause ? What can be done to deal thi situation ?

An increasing number of people are leaving their own poorer countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal thi situation? DYPNp
In recent times, It has been noticed that many individuals leave their financially poor nations and shift to modernised and civilized countries. Various obstacles arise when people perform such an act, as well as various solutions can also be taken in order to stop the act. Both the problems as well as the preventive measures are explained in the ensuing paragraphs Several problems come up when people migrate to other developed nations. To begin with, the country faces economic crises. By this I mean that when people migrate to other countries the rate of production of goods and valuable items decreases which eventually leads to financial breakdown. Moreover, the country may face lack of talented people or skilled individual's. People with unique talents or unique abilities migrate to other parts of the world and they show case their uniqueness residing in a different nations. Further more, the financially weaker countries also get less attention from the investors that are going to invest their valuable assets on their land. On contraty, there are several remedial steps that can be taken in order to stop such an action. The piovtal solution is, the ruling body should avail job opportunities to the citizens. A part from this, the higher authorities can also improve the working conditions by providing handsome salaries and giving more wages to the workers. In addition to this, the government can also improvise the education as well as health care facilities so that the younger section of the society don't suffer from illness or any fatal disease and can continue their academic progress without any harm. Additionally, to attract foreign investors the government can also invite or can arrange summit meetings with different companies and other developed nations across the world in order to make a strong bond. To cap it all, it can be commented that the poor nations should give financial, educational as well as health care support to the citizens in order to tackle the problems of low economic status, lack of talented individuals, and less attraction of investors.
In recent times, It has
been noticed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their
financially
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and shift to
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
and civilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Various obstacles arise when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perform such an act, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as various solutions can
also
be taken
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the act. Both the problems as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the preventive measures are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the ensuing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
paragraphs


Several problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
faces economic crises. By this I mean that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the rate of production of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and valuable items decreases which
eventually
leads to financial breakdown.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
may face lack of talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or skilled individual's.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with unique talents or unique abilities migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
case their uniqueness residing in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "nation"?
nations
.
Further
more, the
financially
weaker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less attention from the investors that are going to invest their valuable assets on their land.

On
Possible spelling mistake found.
contraty
, there are several remedial steps that can
be taken
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
such an action. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
piovtal
solution is, the ruling body should avail job opportunities to the citizens. A part from this, the higher authorities can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the working conditions by providing handsome salaries and giving more wages to the workers.
In addition
to this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
improvise the education as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as health care facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the younger section of the society don't suffer from illness or any fatal disease and can continue their academic progress without any harm.
Additionally
, to attract foreign investors the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
also
invite or can arrange summit meetings with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
across the world in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a strong bond.

To cap it all, it can
be commented
that the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should give financial, educational as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as health care support to the citizens in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to tackle the problems of low economic status, lack of talented individuals, and less attraction of investors.
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IELTS essay An increasing number of people are leaving their own poorer countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal thi situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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