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Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home Mqklk
These days technology has spread as fast as the leopard in all aspects of life starting from studying and working. So, some people believe that depending on technology only is easier. While others think that studying and working in person is much better. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my point of view. In one hand, a lot of people see that technology has become an essential thing as the need of water for many reasons. Firstly, it presents the work in an appealing way because of that, it will increase the economics for the country. For example, when one person of a group wants to illustrate his or her idea, they could show it in Canva website to attract the other members of the group. Furthermore, it makes it easy for all people around the world to share their ideas. Moreover, some students have not the ability to afford the cost of transportation, so studying online facilitate it for them. On the other hand, other people recommend working to make sure that the work is 100% correct. In addition, for students studying in school let them understand effectively, whereas studying at home give them the chance to be closer to the distractions. For instance, when a student has class at home, he or she has their phone so they can play with it or their siblings watching TV during their classes as a result of that, they lose their concentration. In conclusion, after a careful analysis to both ideas I believe that studying and working in person is much better. In my experience, when I was in the 12th grade, I had studied online because of COVID-19, and after I entered college, I found that I have not get any benefit from all the lessons I took in the 12th grade.
These
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
technology has spread as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as the leopard in all aspects of life starting from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that depending on technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is easier. While others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in person is much better. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my point of view.

In one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that technology has become an essential thing as the need of water for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons.
Firstly
, it presents the work
Consider replacing "in an appealing way" with the adverb for "appealing"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an appealing way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, it will increase the economics for the country.
For example
, when one person of a group wants to illustrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
it in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canva
website to attract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members of the group.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world to share their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students have not the ability to afford the cost of transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
online facilitate it for them.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
recommend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the work is 100% correct.
In addition
, for students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them understand
effectively
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at home give them the chance to be closer to the distractions.
For instance
, when a student has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
at home, he or she has their phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can play with it or their siblings watching TV during their classes
as a result
of that, they lose their concentration.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis to both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in person is much better. In my experience, when I was in the 12th grade, I had studied online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of COVID-19, and after I entered college, I found that I have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
any benefit from all the lessons I took in the 12th grade.
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IELTS essay Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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