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Some people argue that immigration should adopt the local culture

Some people argue that immigration should adopt the local culture 3b3Nd
A group of society contend that non natives should modify the regional custom when moving to a new kingdom. A standby view is that they can refine to a new environment by creating a minority communities. However, there is no doubt that a person will enjoy various benefits if he will follow the local culture comparative to this a country but comparative to this a person own culture in his identity.
A group of society contend that
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non natives
should modify the regional custom when moving to a new kingdom. A standby view is that they can refine to a new environment by creating a minority communities.
However
, there is no doubt that a person will enjoy various benefits if he will follow the local culture comparative to this a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
comparative to this a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture in his identity.

IELTS essay Some people argue that immigration should adopt the local culture

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
71 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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