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Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

In today's era, Advertising in the field of business have became unavoidable. To generate sales in any business, to reach out customers and clients, they must know the brand. In this essay, I'll further talk about how Advertising affects people's life in general. Business owners creates new and useful products for the ease of customers. But only creating is not enough, people must know the existence of the product in the market. To make product's availability in the market and it's usefulness, Advertisement is the key. Without Advertisements, it'll be really difficult for the most useful product to reach out customers. Advertisements can be done via online Ads, TV Ads, posting banners at related places, kiosks and at many other ways. Online Ads, TV Ads and Kiosk are the most preferable ways for advertisements because customers can actually see the usefulness rather than just visualizing by reading somewhere. There will be some products which are less purposeless and are more to exhabit. Like there are mobile brands out there in the market. Any moderatly priced mobile will work same as the expensive mobiles, but company creates such an Hype the customers will become captivate to get their hands on the product. If I am the customer, I'll always choose product by it's productivity rather than getting hypnotized through their Advertisements. Rather than spending extra amount just for the sake of brand, I would rather prefer any moderate product. If both the products are giving me same usefulness, why should I spend my hard earned money unnecessarily.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era, Advertising in the field of business have
Use past participle here: “become”.
became
unavoidable. To generate sales in any business, to reach out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and clients, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know the brand. In this essay, I'll
further
talk about how Advertising affects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life
in general
.

Business owners
It seems that the correct verb form here is “create”.
creates
new and useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
creating is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know the existence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in the market. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
product's availability in the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
market and
it's usefulness,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
is the key. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
, it'll be
really
difficult for the most useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to reach out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
can
be done
via online Ads, TV Ads, posting banners at related places, kiosks and at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other ways. Online Ads, TV Ads and Kiosk are the most preferable ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
can actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the usefulness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
visualizing by reading somewhere.

There will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are less purposeless and are more to
Possible spelling mistake found.
exhabit
. Like there are mobile brands out there in the market. Any
Possible spelling mistake found.
moderatly
priced mobile will work same as the expensive mobiles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
creates such
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
Hype the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
will become captivate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their hands on the product.

If I am the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
, I'll always choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by
Did you mean “its” (possessive pronoun) instead of ‘it’s’ (short for ‘it is’)?
it's
productivity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than getting hypnotized through their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rather
than spending extra amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the sake of brand, I would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
prefer any moderate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. If both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are giving me same usefulness, why should I spend my
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
hard earned
money
unnecessarily
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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