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Some people argue that governments should make decisions about people’s lifestyles. In my opinion, people should decide for themselves and authorities should not interfere with people’s lives.

Some people argue that governments should make decisions about people’s lifestyles. In my opinion, people should decide for themselves and authorities should not interfere with people’s lives. b3kdP
To start with, if people can make their own decisions, they can pursue their aspirations and values. This is important for their happiness. Different people want different things in life. Their value systems are also different. For some, earning a lot of money could be the ultimate goal. For some others, it could be raising a great family. There are people who attach a great deal of importance to tradition and spirituality. There are also people who want to make a difference to their world. When people have different wants and needs, the government cannot make the right decisions for all of them. And if the government decides to make different sets of decisions for different people, it will not have time to focus on other aspects of running a country. Also, by interfering with people’s personal lives, the government will only antagonize them and that will not benefit the country. When people make their own decisions, they develop a sense of control over their lives. This feeling that they can steer their life in a direction that seems right to them is important for all people. No one wants to be a slave and no one likes it when an outsider like the government dictates terms to them. Also, the government has a lot of other things to take care of. If its focus is on making decisions for people, it will not take long for the country to collapse. In conclusion, I am of the firm belief that people should make their own decisions and the government has absolutely no right or obligation to dictate how people should live their lives.
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, if
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people
can
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make
their
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own
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decisions
, they can pursue their aspirations and values. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their happiness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
things in life. Their value systems are
also
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different
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money could be the ultimate goal. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others, it could be raising a great family. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who attach a great deal of importance to tradition and spirituality. There are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a difference to their world. When
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people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
and needs, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for all of them. And if the
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government
decides to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
sets of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it will not have time to focus on other aspects of running a country.
Also
, by interfering with
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people’s
personal
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lives
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
antagonize them and that will not benefit the country.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
, they develop a sense of control over their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. This feeling that they can steer their life in a direction that seems right to them is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. No one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
to be a slave and no one likes it when an outsider like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
dictates terms to them.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
other things to take care of. If its focus is on making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it will not take long for the country to collapse.

In conclusion
, I am of the firm belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has
absolutely
no right or obligation to dictate how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that governments should make decisions about people’s lifestyles. In my opinion, people should decide for themselves and authorities should not interfere with people’s lives.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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