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Some people feel that they are not beautiful enough based on the standard of beauty these days. Why do they have this kind of thinking? What is the real definition of beauty?

Some people feel that they are not beautiful enough based on the standard of beauty these days. Why do they have this kind of thinking? What is the real definition of beauty? yLW3D
some people share the opinion about their apprearance is not adapted to the nowadays' standard. This essay will first discuss the element leading to those negative thoughts and it will then address the true meaning of beauty. First and foremost, this status predominantly appears because of the rising level of expectation in the society. With the industrializing and modernizing lifestyle, people are more and more concentrated on their outward appearance, leading to the standard of beauty is increasing unintentionally. Furthermore, some contemporary professions also demand for applicants' looks such as models, fight attendants, and performers which cause people with ungifted appearance self-deprecation and unconsciously create such negative emotions. For example, over 80% of people working for a model training firm in London revealed that they usually experience feelings such as anxiety and inferiority for a long period of time due to the competitive working environment and afraid of being overwhelmed by other colleagues. However, the true beauty which define who people are is actually about their qualities. It is unarguable that people with great beauty can achieve things easier than those who are not, but people with merit personality will eventually worth credibility and trust from everyone. Having such qualities can be very beneficial for those seeking for an appropriate position which may require others' belief. For example, considering every queen of beauty competition, every aspects will have to coverage at the queen the same time. The things make the champion different is her personality, because the queen besides her beauty, she also have to qualified enough to others good characteristics. In conclusion, there are relentless reasons can lead to this trend, but at the same time, there are still a lot of core value about beauty need to be carefully evaluated, but the true beauty of a person lies in their heart.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
share the opinion about their
Possible spelling mistake found.
apprearance
is not adapted to the nowadays' standard. This essay will
first
discuss the element leading to those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts and it will then address the true meaning of beauty.

First
and foremost, this status
predominantly
appears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rising level of expectation in the society. With the industrializing and modernizing lifestyle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more and more concentrated on their outward appearance, leading to the standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
is increasing
unintentionally
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
contemporary professions
also
demand for applicants' looks such as models, fight attendants, and performers which cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
ungifted
appearance self-deprecation and
unconsciously
create such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions.
For example
, over 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working for a model training firm in London revealed that they
usually
experience feelings such as anxiety and inferiority for a long period of time due to the competitive working environment and afraid of
being overwhelmed
by other colleagues.

However
, the true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
which define who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are is actually about their qualities. It is unarguable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
can achieve things easier than those who are not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with merit personality will
eventually
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
worth
credibility and trust from everyone. Having such qualities can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial for those seeking for an appropriate position which may require others' belief.
For example
, considering every queen of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
competition, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "aspect"?
aspects
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
coverage at the queen the same time. The things
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the champion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
is her personality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the queen
besides
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
, she
also
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
to qualified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
characteristics.

In conclusion
, there are relentless reasons can lead to this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, there are
still
Possible agreement error. The noun core seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of cores".
a lot of core
value about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
need to be
carefully
evaluated,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beauty
of a person lies in their heart.
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IELTS essay Some people feel that they are not beautiful enough based on the standard of beauty these days. Why do they have this kind of thinking? What is the real definition of beauty?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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