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cause of drugs abuse among teenager

cause of drugs abuse among teenager QKgEL
Drugs abuse amongst teenagers has been a worldwide concern for many decades. The percentage of drug use in teens has increased over the years. Teen drug abuse can occur for many reasons, some of which are low self-esteem, family problems, and peer pressure. Firstly, Teens often begin using drugs because of low self-esteem. When they enter adolescence, they are sensitive about everything around them, or maybe they want to be an influencer in their group friend. Moreover, at those ages, they usually have lots of anxiety about themselves, for instance, feeling like a useless person, and they think using drugs can make them feel more powerful, and the drugs can help them deal with it. Secondly, many teenagers are taking drugs due to family problems. In some families which parents are always busy working, they don't have time to pay attention to their children's needs, or they may not be aware of the warning signs that their children show. Thus, their children can use drugs and not be controlled or banned by them. Besides, if a family has a member who is a drug abuser teenagers will be influenced. Last but not least, the major cause of teenager’s drugs abuse is peer pressure. Much has been said about peer pressure and how it makes teens conform to what their peers are doing. Young people take drugs to feel cool and impress their friends. If your friends all smoke, you will expect to smoke it too. They may tell you that you scare or act like a baby if you don't want to use it. Besides, teenagers want to reduce the depression which they have in their school time, so they use drugs to stop worrying about school work and make themselves feel better. Although the reasons for using drugs may differ with every teen and drug, most teens still abuse drugs for some same reasons like low self-esteem, family problems, and peer pressure. The best way to stop teens from using and abusing drugs is to address all these causes.
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Drugs
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abuse
amongst
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teenagers
has been a worldwide concern for
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many
decades. The percentage of
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drug
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use
in
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teens
has increased over the years.
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Teen
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drug
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abuse
can occur for
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many
reasons,
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some
of which are low self-esteem,
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family
problems, and
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peer
pressure.

Firstly
,
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Teens
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often
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begin
using
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drugs
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because
of low self-esteem. When they enter adolescence, they are sensitive about everything around them, or maybe they want to be an influencer in their group friend.
Moreover
, at those ages, they
usually
have lots of anxiety about themselves,
for instance
, feeling like a useless person, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
using
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drugs
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel more powerful, and the
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drugs
can
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help
them deal with it.

Secondly
,
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many
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teenagers
are taking
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drugs
due to
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family
problems. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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families
which parents are always busy working, they don't have time to pay attention to their children's needs, or they may not be aware of the warning signs that their children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
.
Thus
, their children can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
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drugs
and not
be controlled
or banned by them.
Besides
, if a
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family
has a member who is a
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drug
abuser
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teenagers
will
be influenced
.

Last
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but
not least, the major cause of
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teenager’s
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drugs
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abuse
is
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peer
pressure. Much has
been said
about
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peer
pressure and how it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
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teens
conform to what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
are doing. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take
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drugs
to feel cool and impress their friends. If your friends all smoke, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to smoke it too. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you that you scare or act like a baby if you don't want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
Besides
,
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teenagers
want to
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reduce
the depression which they have in their school time,
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so
they
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use
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drugs
to
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stop
worrying about school work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves feel better.

Although the reasons for using
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drugs
may differ with every
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teen
and
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drug
, most
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teens
still
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abuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
same reasons like low self-esteem,
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family
problems, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
pressure. The best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teens
from using and abusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
is to address all these causes.
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IELTS essay cause of drugs abuse among teenager

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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