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Some people argue that facebook, a platform of social networking sites possesses a significantly negative effect to individuals and society.

Some people argue that facebook, a platform of social networking sites possesses a significantly negative effect to individuals and society. I strongly agree with this statement because it affects social cohesion and wasting time. The major drawback of using facebook leads people to ignore their surroundings. This phenomenon makes people being individualist because users tend to only focus on their activity such chatting making them indifferently to individuals and society around. It brings also people to be lazy in which they will not be easy to leave this activity, this automatically reduces their revenue. Poverty forces them to do unwanted things that disturb the convenience of neighbor. In stark contrast, this device of social media brings also a tremendous benefit. It opens the opportunity for people to communicate with others in separated distances. In a result, although the facebook can connect each other separate distance throughout its its facility such video call. This does not bring positive impact to individuals and society because people will be no care together and lazy. Furthermore, spending much time to utilize facebook has negative impact to individuals and society. As such, people should be able to maximise their time to study or to work. Irwandi Yusuf, a governor in Aceh, uses facebook a lot of time, for example. Administration will deteriorate if he wastes long hours to use facebook. Albeit it can make user feeling happy, but it will impact negatively to individual and society because people can not work maximum and the trust level of society to governments will worsen. In conclusion, using facebook or social media gives a large negative effet on individual and society, In my opinion, it is true that impact of using facebook regards with social problem and also waste time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that facebook, a platform of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites possesses a
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
cohesion and wasting time.

The major drawback of using facebook leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
their surroundings. This phenomenon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being individualist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
users tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on their activity such chatting making them
indifferently
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
around. It brings
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be lazy in which they will not be easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
this activity, this
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their revenue. Poverty forces them to do unwanted things that disturb the convenience of neighbor. In stark contrast, this device of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media brings
also
a tremendous benefit. It opens the opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate with others in separated distances. In a result, although the facebook can connect each other separate distance throughout its its facility such video call. This does not bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be no care together and lazy.

Furthermore
, spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to utilize facebook has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. As such,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be able to maximise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study or to work. Irwandi Yusuf, a governor in Aceh,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
facebook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
for example
. Administration will deteriorate if he wastes long hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
facebook. Albeit it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
user feeling happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
negatively
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not work maximum and the trust level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
will worsen.

In conclusion
, using facebook or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media gives a large
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effet on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, In my opinion, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
of using facebook regards with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
problem and
also
waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that facebook, a platform of social networking sites possesses a significantly negative effect to individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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