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Some people are moving from their country, in your opinion which country’s custom they should follow

Some people are moving from their country, in your opinion which country’s custom they should follow 2KO7X
Some residents are forcing to leave their homeland because of their unpleasant welfare. They are facing with a few complications while passing the border of their country. In my opinion, they should follow their home country custom. To begin with, I believe that home country custom will make a concession for them. Such as waive them from tax, to make a significant discount for the custom prices and etc. In addition to, while passing the borderline most presumably they will have a serious language problem. This has been occurred for me since I passed the boundary of my country for travelling purposes. In conclusion, I would suggest them to follow their home country custom.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
residents are forcing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their homeland
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their unpleasant welfare. They are facing with a few complications while passing the border of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my opinion, they should follow their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
custom.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I believe that home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
custom will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a concession for them. Such as waive them from tax, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant discount for the custom prices
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
.

In addition
to, while passing the borderline most presumably they will have a serious language problem. This has
been occurred
for me since I passed the boundary of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for travelling purposes.

In conclusion
, I would suggest them to follow their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
custom.
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IELTS essay Some people are moving from their country, in your opinion which country’s custom they should follow

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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