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Children leaving after graduated or living with their friends. Is positive or negative development?

Children leaving after graduated or living with their friends. Is positive or negative development? B72X9
The argument of leave parents' home disadvantages rather than advantages has been circulating all sects in society. However, many people believe that children should start live by themselves after gratuated, the benefits of these being related to have more experiences and discover themselves. This essay will discuss the positive ways of living on children own. To begin with, children should stay on their own for having more experiences. When children live without parents' support: money, advice, and more, they will have lesson from their behavior that it is extremely important when they work in the future, such as mistake from their decision, manage money for renting house and buying food. It will shape children growing up with full experiences and knowledge, developing them to be supeiror in many ways. Therefore, young people should live with their own for having experiences. Along with this, staying on children own help them to find themselves. Living with out parent plans is better for children to discover what they like. They will know their own goals and dreams that it is good inspiration them to continue work, doing it with happiness and hopeness that impact directly to their life balance. The faster knowing themselves, the more chance to succeed in working and studying than other people. Therefore, children should live on their own to investigate their like. All in all, starting live without parents' help make positive development to children, having more knowledge and experiences and finding themselves. If children always stay with their parents, they will not have their own thinking.
The argument of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
parents' home disadvantages
rather
than advantages has been circulating all sects in society.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by themselves after
Possible spelling mistake found.
gratuated
, the benefits of these
being related
to have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and discover themselves. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
ways of living on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should stay on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
for having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without parents' support: money, advice, and more, they will have lesson from their behavior that it is
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when they work in the future, such as mistake from their decision, manage money for renting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and buying food. It will shape
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growing up with full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and knowledge, developing them to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
supeiror
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.
Therefore
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
for having experiences.

Along with this, staying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "help them find"?
help them to find
themselves. Living
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
parent plans is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to discover what they like. They will know their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
goals and dreams that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
inspiration them to continue work, doing it with happiness and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hopeness
that impact
directly
to their life balance. The faster knowing themselves, the more chance to succeed in working and studying than other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
to investigate their like.

All in all, starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without parents'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, having more knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and finding themselves. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always stay with their parents, they will not have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thinking.
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IELTS essay Children leaving after graduated or living with their friends. Is positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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