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A day in the desert-paragraph

A day in the desert-paragraph gA0Pa
Last week, we had a fantastic trip to the desert. First, before we went, we prepared for our lunch. Then we were searching for a convenient location. After that, we started cooking Kabsah while my brothers were playing football. That kabsah was the most delicious lunch I ever had. At night we made Arabic coffee with some sweat. We spent beautiful time with each other through the day. Eventually that was memorable trip.
Last week, we had a fantastic trip to the desert.
First
,
before
we went, we prepared for our lunch. Then we were searching for a convenient location. After that, we
started
cooking
Kabsah
while my brothers were playing football. That
kabsah
was the most delicious lunch I ever had. At
night we
made Arabic coffee with
some
sweat. We spent
beautiful
time with each other through the day.
Eventually
that was memorable trip.
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IELTS essay A day in the desert-paragraph

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
73 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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