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Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, or laptops. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v.9

Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, or laptops. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v. 9
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that, with the development of new devices and gadgets, it seems that more and more people are keen on acquiring new hi-tech stuffs. A lion's share of the society favours it, however, the rest goes adverse it. From my point of view, aforementioned act can cause some problems in the industry. The following paragraphs would discuss the reason along with an apt example. I see eye to eye, with the central idea for various reasons. First, the race of using new phones and laptops is a bad way to burn the money. We can clearly see a lot of devices have a price tag of hundreds, even thousands or millions of dollars. But they are not made for one or two years to use, they are made for long-term use. For example, top-tier smartphones, more widely known as ‘flagship’ smartphones, are able to work smoothly up to 3 years. This future-proof rate for laptop is even higher, up to 10 years of use carefully. Furthermore, in recent years, the ratio of performance per dollar is getting lower, due to the slowness of chip architecture researches. A lot of companies, such as Intel, need funds to sponsor that work, and all they can do is to raise the price of their processors, therefore, make it way more expensive, while can’t bring any significant difference compared to the last generation. On the loggerhead, some critics go against the above discussed assertions. Too many new gadgets can cause dramatic problems to the environment. A common problem is people tend to throw away the old piece of tech once they get the new one. If these old devices don’t get disposed properly, components from these will make the environment become harmful. For instance, batteries, made from lithium ions, can become an explosive bomb if suffer intensive heat. Metals, such as aluminium can make the ground contaminated, thus reduce the soil’s quality. To conclude, In my opinion, the requirements to buy new gadgets and tech devices are not essential. So, this should not be encouraged, due to its consequences.
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that, with the development of
new
devices
and gadgets, it seems that more and more
people
are keen on acquiring
new
hi-tech stuffs. A lion's share of the society
favours
it,
however
, the rest goes adverse it. From my point of view, aforementioned act can cause
some
problems in the industry. The following paragraphs would discuss the reason along with an apt example.

I
see
eye to eye, with the central
idea
for various reasons.
First
, the race of using
new
phones and laptops is a
bad
way to burn the money. We can
clearly
see
a lot of
devices
have a price tag of hundreds, even thousands or millions of dollars.
But
they are not made for one or two years to
use
, they
are made
for long-term
use
.
For example
, top-tier smartphones, more
widely
known as ‘flagship’ smartphones, are able to work
smoothly
up to 3 years. This future-proof rate for laptop is even higher, up to 10 years of
use
carefully
.
Furthermore
, in recent years, the ratio of performance per dollar is getting lower, due to the slowness of chip architecture researches.
A lot of
companies
, such as Intel, need funds to sponsor that work, and all they can do is to raise the price of their processors,
therefore
,
make
it way more expensive, while can’t bring any significant difference compared to the last generation.

On the loggerhead,
some
critics go against the above discussed assertions. Too
many
new
gadgets can cause dramatic problems to the environment. A common problem is
people
tend to throw away the
old
piece of tech once they
get
the
new
one. If these
old
devices
don’t
get
disposed
properly
, components from these will
make
the environment become harmful.
For instance
, batteries, made from lithium ions, can become an explosive bomb if suffer intensive heat. Metals, such as
aluminium
can
make
the ground contaminated,
thus
reduce
the soil’s quality.

To conclude
, In my opinion, the requirements to
buy
new
gadgets and tech
devices
are not essential.
So
, this should not
be encouraged
, due to its consequences.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, or laptops. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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